Paperweights
by FeistyFeist
Summary: Life was turning out just fine for Ponyboy Curtis. However, the summer before college proves to be anything but calm. Story continuance.
1. Chapter 1

XXXX

What's down the road we can't say

And the road behind don't matter

But every mile along the way

Is just another mile together

Unconcerned about the twists and turns

We're takin' it nice and slow

Safe and sound, covering ground

--George Straight

XXXX

Ponyboy's POV

"Well, what do we have here?" In a flash, Two-Bit's hand darted out and snatched the piece of paper I was reading.

_Shit_, I thought.

Hastily, I stood up from my spot at the kitchen table. "Two-Bit Mathews, give me that back!" Tauntingly, he held the paper up in front of me and danced a little jig.

I sighed with irritation, trying not to give in and laugh at his antics. "Don't you two have your own place now?" I glanced at Steve who sat on the couch watching us with amusement. "Why can't you annoy each other?" Steve and Two-Bit rented a small apartment together. But they still hung out at our place nearly every day.

Steve shrugged nonchalantly. "Because it's more fun to annoy you."

Soda, walking around the room looking for his shoes, chuckled. "Two-Bit just likes to drink our beer. Lazy bum." Soda eyed me curiously. Two-Bit and I were having a standoff in the kitchen. "What's going on with you?"

"Nothing," I snapped. Then I held out my hand exasperatedly. "Come on, Two-Bit."

"Perhaps this is a love letter?" he said, his gray eyes gleaming. "Hmm, let's see…" Lowering the paper, he quickly scanned it, mumbling the words.

Nervously, I glanced behind him as Darry arrived home. "How's Dana?" Soda shouted loudly, eliciting a sharp glare from our brother. Soda and I rolled our eyes at each other.

Darry had left the house late last night because of some 'problem' his girlfriend was having. He was just now arriving home.

"Exhausting," he said tiredly.

Dana was Darry's girlfriend of six months. She was three years older than him and at first they had seemed like a good match. Both responsible, both mature. However, the only problem was that they both liked to boss each other around.

Also, Dana could be snippy and Darry didn't do well with snippy.

She demanded all of his attention, which Darry wouldn't give. He was already committed to Soda and me. If it was between us or her needing his time he didn't give it a second thought. Soda and I had tried to tell him it was fine – he didn't need to focus so much on us anymore - but he refused to listen. "You're more important," he would say gruffly.

Darry's old habits were hard to break. It was a serious point of discussion for Sodapop and me. Darry was real good about letting us do what we wanted, but sometimes his 'parent' reflex kicked in and we all flashed back about four years.

Dana treated me as if I were five years old. One time she made the mistake of calling me by my middle name because she couldn't stand my first name. "It's Ponyboy," Darry had told her through gritted teeth.

_What a catch._

They fought with each other all the time. No one knew why he or she stayed together; Steve said Darry probably liked the challenge.

Darry walked past me and opened the refrigerator. "Figures. We have no food," he grumbled, shutting it roughly.

"Two-Bit!" I said with frustration, holding out my hand. I wanted to get it back before he said anything.

_Too late._

Finished reading, his head slowly raised up, a glimmer of a smile on his face. "So you got in?" I nodded, uncomfortably. "You accepted? You're going to go?"

Darry, holding a Pepsi, leaned back against the counter watching us.

Two-Bit's guard was down so I grabbed the paper away. "Mind your own business." But I was smiling.

"Where are you going?" Darry asked suspiciously.

I bit my lip. I wasn't ready to tell anyone the news, afraid that Darry would be disappointed that I was planning to stay in Tulsa for college. These last few months he had been fastidiously pushing me into sending out applications. Night after night I had huddled at my desk filling in the monotonous questions. My social security number was now etched into my brain.

I had gotten into a few other schools, but instead had accepted my scholarship to the University of Tulsa. It was pretty much a full ride, except for living expenses.

Hopefully, Darry wasn't ready to kick me out of the house.

Clearing my throat I said, "College." At Darry's measured grin I continued quickly, "I'm going to go to the University of Tulsa. I got a scholarship."

Soda bounced off the couch, his brown eyes excited. "Why didn't you tell me?" He hugged me and grabbed the letter. "We should frame this."

Steve choked on a laugh and I joined him. "See what you did Two-Bit?" Embarrassed, I snagged a hand through my hair. I could feel myself turning red.

"You didn't want to go anywhere else?" Darry asked slowly. Soda's eyes narrowed; thinking Darry was trying to push me out of town.

But I got what Darry was saying. He wanted to make sure I knew what I was doing. I nodded emphatically. "No. I want to stay here. I've had enough of…leaving my family," I said with feeling.

Darry, standing before me, cleared his throat roughly, his eyes wet. "Ok. I think I can handle that." Suddenly his strong arms were around me. "I am so proud of you Ponyboy."

Shocked at such open affection from my usually closed-off brother, I patted his back awkwardly. When we pulled apart I joked seriously, "You're not going to kick me out of the house are you? Otherwise I'll be living in a cardboard box in our alley."

Not getting the joke, Darry stared at me sternly. "Of course not. It would be silly to live in the dorms when you have a room right here."

"I don't know Darry," Steve interjected. "You might want to do it now or you'll never get him out of the house. Just look at Soda."

"Thanks man. Thanks," Soda scowled good-naturedly. He shot me a mischievous smile and turned to Darry. "No worries Darry. Just as soon as you're ready to marry Dana, let me know and I will be out of here."

Darry guffawed but looked horrified. "Not in a million years."

Pretending to be shocked, Soda frowned. "So, you're telling me you're not hearing wedding bells yet?"

"I'd stop there if I were you, little man," Darry warned Sodapop and sat down in one of the kitchen chairs. "Let me see your brochures." I could tell Darry was excited as he scanned the introductory application and booklets. He nodded his silent approval as he flipped through the pages.

My stomach sank, realizing he had never been able to go to college. "I'm sorry, Darry."

Startled, he looked up. "For what?"

"I know you wanted to go too."

Darry sighed. "Pony. I did what I wanted to do. You forget I did have a choice. And I wanted you and Soda more than anything. So cut it out and stop feeling sorry for me."

I cocked my head and just looked at him. Darry could be overbearing and strict but we got along better than we ever had. He still thought I was scatterbrained and I still thought he yelled too much but instead of fighting all the time we could just talk. I wasn't ready to give that up. I would miss it too much. Hell, I'd miss everyone too much if I went away. Even Steve and especially Soda.

Darry's rugged face was thoughtful as he continued to read the brochures, his blue eyes gleaming. His brown hair fell in his face and he hadn't shaved in a few days. Suddenly, I was hit by a memory. It came on strong, smacking me across the face.

I blinked and coughed. "What's wrong?" Darry asked, looking up with confusion.

"You look like dad," I told him bluntly.

He shifted uncomfortably and then leaned back in his chair. He twiddled a pencil in between his fingers. "You know the one thing I'm most excited about?"

"What?"

"That soon the state will be off our back. They pretty much are anyways, but soon we won't even have to worry." He nodded, pleased with himself.

And why wouldn't he be? He had raised two teenagers, put up with our shit while getting his own together.

"Darry," I said intently, staring him in the face. "I'm proud of you too."

XXXX

Ok-hope you all enjoy the next 'saga'.

Let me know what you think.

Special thanks to Alleycat80 for the great input.


	2. Chapter 2

FYI: This story does continue with my other stories. Sorry if I confused anyone. Also, thanks for the great reviews. Hope you keep reading.

XXXX

If there's a spell on you that

I could take away

I would do the deed

Yeah and by the way

Here's to Heaven knows

As the circle goes

It ain't right

I'm uptight

Get off my toes!

-Aerosmith

XXXX

Darry's POV

"Darry," Dana said, her green eyes glittering in the dark, "do me a favor and stop sleeping in that chair. It's going to give you back problems."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and instead sighed. "Do me a favor and call next time you come over." I checked my watch. "It's after one." We were standing in the doorway, me on the inside of the house, her on the outside, on the porch. She held the screen door open and tapped her nails against the tin.

Clackety clack clack 

Huffily she said, "Well, I just wanted to let you know we couldn't have lunch tomorrow. I'm pulling double shifts at the hospital."

_Isn't that what a phone's for?_ I thought with annoyance.

"That's fine. I'll be busy with work too," I lied. I was planning on relaxing for a few days since I had some vacation time due to me. But I definitely didn't want to spend it with her. She was more work than Ponyboy had been at 14.

I almost wished I could be like Soda who brought home a different girl every month. But he never stayed with her for long. Sodapop was still scarred from Sandy. No one ever spoke about it, but we all knew she did a number on my brother. I was just thankful she had never answered any of his letters. He was better off without her.

Dana opened her mouth to complain but then shut it just as abruptly, staring behind me. I followed her eyes. Ponyboy walked into the room, wearing a baggy t-shirt and sweats. "Hi sweetie," Dana chirped, brushing her black hair out of her eyes.

"Hi," he said softly, looking embarrassed at having interrupted us.

"What're you doin' up?" I asked.

"Nothin'." But his tone told me that it was _something_. Scrutinizing him closer, I saw that he was pale and sweaty. Pony turned from me and got a glass of water from the kitchen.

"Dana, I-"

"I know. You got to go." Resignedly, she touched my shoulder and then stood on her tiptoes to give me a kiss. "Bye, you big jerk."

I found my brother popping five aspirin and then swallowing a large glass of water. I took the bottle away from him and set in on top of the fridge. "That's not good for you."

Sheepishly, he rubbed his tired eyes and nodded to the front door. "Is she good for you? C'mon Dar, she drives you crazy."

"Just you let me worry about that." He was right though. We both knew it. "Why're you up? Nervous for tomorrow?" Lord knows I was. It was only his high school graduation but I couldn't help myself.

"Tomorrow?" He shook his head. "Nah. _That's_ gonna be smooth sailing."

Then Ponyboy looked at me with an expression I hadn't seen in a while: fear. He was afraid. Dark circles stood out underneath his eyes and he exhaled slowly. Nonplussed, I waited for him to speak.

"I had a nightmare Darry." His fearful face turned to panic and then to anger. "I haven't had one in…what, almost two years?" Pony's voice rose slightly, shaking.

Nodding, I tried to remember. "Yeah. That sounds about right." The worst and last ones he had had were around the time he had gotten back from the Vietnam. I gritted my teeth, hating the memories of him returning hurt and afraid.

Ponyboy bit his lip thoughtfully and I tried not to smile. He still looked so young. Hell, to me he still _was_ young.

Ponyboy set his glass in the sink and then shut his eyes. I was struck by how worried he was. "Do you remember it?" I asked insistently.

"Oh yeah. This is not good, Darry."

"Pony? It's just a nightmare…"

Furiously, he waved me off, pacing the room. He was like a ping-pong ball, my head going from left to right. "No. They're not just nightmares. Bad things are going to happen. They do whenever I dream." I frowned and rubbed my chin. It was as if he were talking to himself, I no longer mattered. "I knew things were too good. Just when they were going right-"

Bothered, I grabbed his wrist, making him face me. Getting himself worked up was not going to help tonight. "Stop it. You've been stressed lately, what with school and all. Just relax and-"

I stopped short and glanced down in dismay at his hands. They were shaking so hard even I couldn't stop them. He saw what I was looking at and choked out in awe, "Glory, I'm a mess."

And then I couldn't have wished for anything better. A disheveled and sleepy Soda was there and he pulled Ponyboy down into a chair. "Honey, just take a breath. You're gonna make yourself sick," he murmured softly into Pony's ear, Soda's long fingers wrapped around Pony's hands. Pony snapped his eyes shut and tried to calm down for Soda's sake.

From my place by the stove, I marveled at _their_ relationship. Ponyboy and myself had worked at ours long and hard and now, finally, we had a good one. But Sodapop and Ponyboy had been _born_ with a relationship. Sometimes, they just could look at each other and know what the other one was going to say or think.

Now that he was older, Pony was 'allowed' to tag along with Steve and Soda. Steve didn't mind at all, even though he put up the façade of being annoyed. Steve and Ponyboy had an odd respect for each other, that had instantaneously happened overnight, to the joy of Sodapop and the mystification of Two-Bit and myself.

Ponyboy finally stopped his shaking and Soda smoothed his sweaty hair back. "Want to come sleep with me? For old time's sake?" He grinned goofily at our brother who shot him his own smile back.

Tiredly, I rubbed my eyes. "Get to bed," I told them both. "We have to be up early tomorrow."

"Speak for yourself," Soda retorted. "So, Pony? Whaddya say?"

Our brother shook his head firmly. Already he seemed calmer. "No. I'm fine Soda. I'm gonna go on back to bed." At Soda's doubtful look he continued, "Seriously. I'll fall asleep in half a second. Don't worry."

Standing up, Ponyboy drowsily made way for the bedroom. "Thanks, Darry," he mumbled as he left.

"I can't believe it," Soda said distractedly after Ponyboy had left.

"Neither can I."

But I wasn't sure whether we were talking about his upcoming graduation or the fact that after nearly a two-year hiatus Ponyboy's nightmares had once again reared their ugly head.

XXXX

Questions, comments? Vague ramblings? I appreciate any and all!

Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

New chapter up. Thanks to everyone else for their reviews. I appreciate them very much! Also, I did enjoy everyone's vague ramblings!

_Laughing_: I tried to write a longer chapter for you…so I hope this works. ;)

_PurpleBlaze_: In case you couldn't tell, I too, love PB angsty stories. I guess we're just cruel people. Haha.

XXXX

Ponyboy's POV

"Shakes," I whispered to my friend, trying to stifle a laugh. "You know we're gonna get caught don't you?"

Alex Shakes turned to me and shrugged, his blue eyes gleaming with trouble. "Pony, I don't know why you worry. Let me do the worrying. After all it's my plan."

"How big of you," I said wryly, grinning back at my friend.

Shakes and I had met my first year back to school after I had gone over to Vietnam. He had newly moved from Tennessee to Tulsa; both of us having trouble adjusting to school.

They didn't have Socs or Greasers where he came from, but he definitely fit in with us Greasers, as he and I both found out on our first meeting. One day after school, I had caught him smarting off to two angry Socs who had cornered him by his locker. I walked up in time to hear him say, "That's not what your mother said last night."

I had chuckled, impressed at his composed demeanor. "Probably not a smart thing to say in your current situation."

"Come to give me a hand, have you?" he had drawled and shot me a quick grin.

Shrugging, I stuck my hands in my pockets. "I got nothing better to do." The Socs blinked, surprised at our calm dialogue and then one decided to throw a punch. Shakes ducked it, causing the Soc to punch his fist into the metal locker and curse in pain. I barely got a chance to say, "I think you got the hang of it," before ducking the other fist that was thrown my way.

And so, I had come home with a black eye and a new friend.

"Man, it's so going to be worth it," Shakes said now, rubbing his hands together with anticipation. "I can't wait to see the look on everyone's face." He caught my eye. "Especially your brothers."

Plainly put, Darry didn't like him. Shakes knew it and liked to rub it in. I didn't think Soda was too fond of him either. It had surprised me at first that they hadn't liked him, but to Darry Shakes was trouble and I didn't need any more trouble after what I had been through.

Shakes could bea practical joker, but he also reminded everyone too much of Dallas Winston: a little dangerous, a little reckless. But I knew him best, and he wasn't angry, as Dally had been. Shakes just didn't think sometimes.

Shoot, I could live with that, but apparently Darry couldn't.

_"What happened?" Darry had asked a few months ago after I had returned home sporting a broken collarbone. At first he was surprisingly calm; we didn't argue as much anymore but when we did they were whoppers._

_Then his face had cracked as I said, "Let's just say Shakes and I should stick to riding horses."_

_Darry's face had paled. "What exactly did you ride?" I could see him clenching his jaw._

_I was high on the exhilaration from the day so what flew out of my mouth hadn't mattered at that time. If I had been smart I would have lied. "Bulls." Shake's mom owned a farm a few miles out in the country where they raised any animal under the sun._

_"Bulls? Ponyboy Curtis, that kid is gonna get you killed!" Darry had screamed._

_"Wouldn't be the first time," I had grinned goofily before getting grounded by my fuming brother. Even Sodapop had seconded that verdict._

The smile fell off my face as Shakes held up his fireworks. "You know that's not the best way to talk me into this."

"Sorry, sorry. I know that," Shakes apologized.

Doubtfully, I shot him a glare and peered out from underneath the bleachers to check out the bleachers opposite us. Up in the stands, my brothers were scanning the football field. Darry was royally pissed. I wasn't in line, waiting to walk for my high school graduation. Instead, I was under the bleachers with Shakes, trying to pull off some dumb stunt he had put together.

"Ok, let's get back," Shakes told me, breaking into my thoughts. He prodded me out into the May sunshine.

"Wait, wait," I said turning around and stopping him. "Just let me get my diploma first. And then set them off. Darry would kill me if he didn't get to see this."

Shakes looked at me seriously. "Of course." Then he grinned broadly and slapped my back. "Come on."

I reached the stage as the announcer called, "Annie Curtis." Annie, a soc, did everything but bow to the crowd as she accepted her thin piece of paper. I snickered and Shakes, out of sight, ducked behind the mock set that decorated the stage.

Darry apparently relieved as I stepped out, un-tensed his broad shoulders and smiled at me as Soda waved wildly. I blushed and waved back. A hooted catcall came from behind them and I saw Steve and Two-Bit. Two-Bit raised a beer, Steve his middle finger in jest.

_Everything the same._

Shakes' plan was to shoot a few dozen Black Cats off around the stage. Just cause enough chaos to make graduation memorable. He was poised to light them after I walked.

"Ponyboy Curtis," the announcer said, nearly stuttering my odd name. I rolled my eyes and crossed the stage, seeing my brothers applaud happily. Then my eyes darted down to where Shakes should have been.

He was gone.

"Thank y-" And before I could get any further a door was pulled open beneath me and I fell through it and under the stage. Instantly, the crowd above murmured their surprise.

I blinked at Shakes in the dark as he stood over me. "Hmm," he said, looking up at the trapdoor. "I wondered what that did." I snapped my mouth shut against my angry comment and wide-eyed scooted back away from him.

"Shakes," my voice rose cautiously. "The fireworks are _lit_."

"Oh shoot, I forgot about those." Shakes tentatively approached the lit firecrackers, saw he didn't have a chance to stop them from going off and then yelled at me: "Duck and cover, Ponyboy!" He clapped his hands over his ears.

"Looks like the joke's on us," I yelled back, diving down into the dirt and covering my head as 100 Black Cats went off. I groaned; the sound definitely wasn't muffled down here.

When the dust cleared, we looked at each other in amazement. Shakes was covered in dirt and firecracker powder just as I was. "How's that for a graduation we'll never forget?" he said loudly, his face singed black with dust.

My ears were ringing. "What?" I screamed back.

Shakes threw his head back and laughed. "This summer's going to be awesome."

XXXX

Our prank hadn't gone off quite as we had planned.

Barely anyone had heard the fireworks over the murmur of the crowds' confusion and especially since they went off underneath the stage. So instead of creating chaos, all it had created was embarrassment for myself.

I pulled myself out covered in ash, and hastily waved away the concerned teachers. "You really should get that fixed," I tried to joke, pointing at the trap door. They stared perplexedly at my dusty face.

From my place on stage, I shot Darry and Soda a thumbs up; Darry was rubbing his forehead; worry and exasperation clouding his features, and Soda threw me a quizzical glance. The graduation ceremony resumed and I quickly took my diploma, nearly running down the stairs.

Shakes met me at the bottom. "That was humiliating," I hissed at him. He nodded sympathetically.

After the ceremony was over and the crowd clearing, Mr. Syme caught the sleeve of my gown and smiled at me. "You've done well here Ponyboy. Good luck in the future."

"Thank you sir," I mumbled, shamed by how gracious the man had sounded. As I shook his hand, I found it oddly unsettling. I didn't even feel like I was the 14-year old who had written the English theme three years ago.

"He probably just doesn't want the school to get sued for your little mishap," Shakes told me matter-of-factly as we walked into the parking lot.

"_My_ little mishap?" I chuckled good-naturedly. "I seem to remember you having a hand in it." Then I stopped short, seeing Darry, Soda, and Two-Bit standing by the pickup. Steve, chatting with some blonde sophomore, winked at me as we came around the corner.

"Yee-haw!" Two-Bit hooted, shaking up a beer and running up to me. He cracked the lid and drenched me with it. Darry groaned as Shakes and Sodapop laughed. Then smiling, he ruffled my hair affectionately. "Thanks for livening up the ceremony with your little disappearing act."

"Glad you appreciated it," I beamed at Two-Bit, ignoring Darry's famous disapproving scowl. Inwardly I sighed, knowing I was due a lecture when we got home.

Darry laid off me as much as he could; but he just couldn't break some of his big brother habits. He and Soda both, I had to admit.

Soda ran up too, swooping me into a hug. "Congrats, you're done!"

"Glory. It's just high school. No big deal." I told their grinning faces. Hell, they were probably just happy I had made it to 17 after all the crap I had been through.

"It sure is," Darry reprimanded. "You should be proud of yourself."

Inwardly, I wanted to scream but I kept the cheesy smile on my face, just letting Darry have his moment.

Hell, I was just excited for summer vacation. The future seemed so far away and I didn't want to bother with it right now.

Shakes waggled his eyebrows at me. "Ponyboy Curtis, you almost went out with a bang today," he drawled.

Then he tossed me a Black Cat, which was thankfully unlit.

XXXX

We all went back to the house for dinner. Darry started making a chocolate cake and as usual we all began milling around. "You want to stay for dinner?" I asked Shakes, thumbing through a book I had been meaning to finish: _The Great Gatsby_. He shuffled his feet and looked out the window.

"I'd better not. Mom wants me home for my 'graduation feast'. Although, if I know her it'll be a six-pack and bucket of chicken." Sheila, Shakes' mom, was a good woman. She just didn't have a clue as to how to raise a son. She was more friend than parent. But in the end, Shakes was lucky; she loved him and she didn't hit him. Two hard things to come by in our neighborhood.

Two-Bit, lounging in Darry's recliner, grunted, "Sounds good to me." His eyes took on a glazed look as he began to think about beer.

Even Darry had a heart. "Are you sure Alex?" he asked. "We'll have plenty." Soda nodded in agreement as he divided poker chips up between Steve and himself. He wore his DX cap and had dollar bills sticking out the sides.

"Thanks but no thanks." Shakes told us. "I'll take you up on it next time though."

As I walked Shakes to the door, we ran into Dana. We both stopped in our tracks as she barged in. "I brought some potato salad."

From across the room I flashed Soda a knowing look; Dana hadn't been invited. Darry stifled a groan, the rest of the room their laughter.

"Miss Susie Homemaker strikes again," Shakes whispered before he left.

"Congrats sweetie," she said, setting the salad on the kitchen table. She came up to me and pecked my cheek. "Sorry I couldn't be there."

"Not a problem," I mumbled, embarrassed. Two-Bit mouthed _sweetie_ at me and puckered his lips, ignoring my glare. Steve and Soda, turning red from holding in their laughter, hastily tried chugging water to detract attention. Darry's expression warned them they better quit it or else.

To Dana, I was now 'sweetie' or 'honey', first name not important. The problem with Dana was that she just didn't get things. If someone told her something she usually ignored it.

"Darry," she was now saying doubtfully, "I don't think the cake is supposed to have that much sugar."

"You should let me make it," Soda said as Darry whipped the bowl; annoyed that now two people were ordering him around, although Soda was doing it just for fun. "It'll put you in a coma."

Two-Bit nodded. "Sounds good to me," he repeated.

Steve tossed a poker chip at Two-Bit. "You're a big mooch you know that right?"

"Well, the only reason I come over here is to reap the benefits," Two-Bit replied flipping the chip back and turning on the TV.

Dana sniffed and settled herself at the table half-heartedly with Soda and Steve. Instantly, the poker game was shot. Steve sighed and shuffled the cards.

I could see Dana waiting to make a move to help Darry out. Dana was a nurse at St. Joseph's and she constantly took it upon herself to nag anyone and everyone about their health.

However, on the plus side, she did have Darry watching how much lumber he carried at work.

Needing a break from the festivities I walked to the door and lit a smoke before going outside. Dana, seeing me from the kitchen, yelled out across the room, "Those things are going to kill you one of these days." She pursed her lips in annoyance.

"I'll make a note," I said rudely and stepped outside, slamming the door shut behind me. I didn't care if Darry yelled at me. That woman was the most over-bearing, pretentious-

"Glory, help us," Two-Bit exclaimed, joining me outside. The screen door rattled as he slammed it shut.

"I think I'm going to sit out here and chain-smoke the rest of the day. Just to piss her off." I told him. "Want one?" I held up the pack and grinned slyly.

"No, but Darry might after the rip-roaring fight they're going to be having. I recommended everyone evacuate the house as soon as possible, but I think Soda and Steve want to catch the show."

"What happened?"

"She told Darry that chocolate wasn't one of the four food groups and she didn't know how growing boys could exist on that alone."

Groaning, I blew smoke out of my nose. Challenging Darry's authority on how he had raised Soda and me wasn't her best tactic.

The front door swung open and Soda and Steve flew out of the house laughing. Behind them I could hear Dana's high-pitched voice explaining herself over Darry's lower, reprimanding one. "C'mon," Soda said grabbing me. He threw an arm around my shoulders as we trotted down the street. "I'll take you for your first post-high school drink. We definitely won't be eating here tonight."

XXXX


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry for the delay. Here you are. Send along ideas…if you do so wish…thanks for the reviews too.

XXXX

Come to decide that the things that I tried

Were in my life just to get high on

When I sit alone, come get a little more known

But I need more than myself this time

Step from the road to the sea to the sky

And I do believe that we rely on

When I lay it on

Come get to play it on

All my life to sacrifice.

Hey oh listen what I say oh

I got your

Hey oh listen what I say oh

-- Red Hot Chili Peppers

XXXX

Pony's POV

"Kid," Two-Bit was saying, "if you barf in my car, you can forget ever getting a ride from me again."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm only on my third beer, Two-Bit. Besides, from the way you're drinking it looks like _we'll_ be driving you home tonight."

Scoffing, he took a long drink and held up the glass. "Hey, I can handle my booze."

Soda laughed and shook his head. "The last time I heard that you ended up passing out in your mom's rosebushes."

Two-Bit had the grace to look embarrassed. He scratched his head. "Yeah. She didn't like that very much." Then he looked at Steve and grinned. "This time I can pass out in our rosebushes."

"I thought I told you not to encourage him," Steve berated Soda.

I glanced at the clock on the wall. It was ten. We had been at _Lucky's_ Bar for three hours. I had told Sodapop that the name of the bar was the definition of irony since most people who came to the bar ended up knifed. Either Sodapop didn't care or he didn't know exactly what irony was because he ruffled my hair and told me I was funny.

The gang still liked the place despite its problems; they knew the bartender and could wrangle free drinks. Steve and Soda had fixed the owner's car at a heavily discounted price, hence the perks. I just hoped a pool cue to the head wasn't one of them.

_Lucky's_ was a rare bar; both Greasers and Socs came here. Now that I had graduated I supposed Soda thought I could handle the 'big-time' bars. I didn't want to tell him that I had been here myself once or twice with Shakes.

_Speaking of Shakes…_

"I'm gonna go call Shakes," I told the table.

"Ok. Here." Soda handed me some change. "Call Darry while you're at it. See how the cake turned out."

I punched the numbers on the payphone in the corner and waited until I heard Shakes', " 'lo?"

It was short and sweet: "Shakes. We're at _Lucky's_ ."

"I'll be right down," he agreed.

Next I called our house, wondering if Dana was still aggravating Darry. I tapped my foot as I waited for him to pick up and winced as across the room Two-Bit nearly got slapped by some girl he was trying to hit on.

_He'd never learn. _

After nine rings Darry answered. Letting the phone ring that long was a record for him. "Hello?" His voice was hoarse. Probably from yelling, I figured from my own experience.

"Hey Darry."

"Ponyboy," he sighed. "About Dana-"

"It's fine."

"No, it's not fine." Darry sounded hurt. "It was your graduation and I wanted to do something to celebrate…" he trailed off uncertainly, then asked. "Where are you?"

"Soda took us to _Lucky's_."

Apparently, Darry was familiar with irony. "_Lucky's_?" he barked. "I can't believe Sodapop took you there," he muttered, almost to himself.

I considered something and then asked, "Why don't you come down?" I laughed. "You could probably use a drink."

He was silent for a second and then slowly grumbled, "I suppose I could do that."

I grinned a lopsided smile, knowing Darry was flattered I had asked. "Good."

XXXX

Walking back to the table, I passed Trevor Gayles, Paul Yates and Stan Bryant: Socs from my grade. I figured they were out celebrating just as us Greasers were. A loud cheer went up as they raised their drinking glasses. Paul crowed, "This is to Tom Nichols."

Instantly, the room seemed to shrink. I stopped abruptly next to them, my face on fire, my blood antifreeze.

It was as if on this night, in this ill named bar, the past and present had collided with a bang. Tom Nichols. Glory... The Soc from 'Nam; Karen Nichols' son; David Nichols' brother; and most importantly Trevor Gayle's best friend.

_What a tangled web we weave _ran through my mind.

Tom, the Soc who knew the truth and nothing but the truth. That I had went to Vietnam for Sodapop. And that knowledge had died with him, a bullet to the throat had seen to that.

I held my breath, trying to listen.

"What a waste of a good guy," Stan said.

New to the group and confused, Paul asked, "So what exactly happened?"

Trevor shook his head. "Tom would have been 21 today if not for some stupid son-of-a-bitch in his own platoon accidentally shooting him." His face was as furious as mine was becoming.

"Idiots all of them," Stan snorted. "Screw ups."

My eyes widened in shocked anger. Finally, I had gotten to a point where I could remember Vietnam without breaking into a sweat or wanting to run screaming for the hills. It had taken a while but I was there. And no Soc was ever going to gloss over what had actually happened.

"That's not right," I spit, stamping over to the table, not sure what I was doing, only knowing that I was pissed.

Trevor's eyes jerked to mine. We already didn't like each other from school and this definitely wouldn't help.

"What?" Trevor snapped, glaring at me. "I'd mind your own business Grease."

Stone-faced I looked down at him. "Maybe you should get your facts straight."

Trevor gripped his glass, itching to beat me to a pulp. "I think I'd know a little bit more than you would, Grease. He was my best friend after all." His eyes were furious; but I could tell they weren't at the death of his friend. They were the same Socs eyes I had always been looked at with. They hated us.

"Yeah, well," I blurted, "your best friend would tell you he was just sitting there when all of a sudden he got caught with a bullet through the throat. And it was from a Gook, not someone in his own unit."

Trevor blanched. "How in the hell would you know that?" he seethed, standing up. I stood my ground, knowing I had back up, if needed.

Gritting my jaw, I responded calmly, "I just do."

"Bullshit is what you know," Trevor spat, stepping closer to me. "I'd watch what you say Ponyboy. It's going to get you hurt one of these days." Covertly, between the 6-inch space between our chests he flicked out a blade.

Trevor Gayles fought dirty. Throughout my remainder of high school, he had reminded me of Bob. Sulky and rich. The only difference between the two was that Bob had been jealous and boozed up when he had tried to drown me; Trevor Gayles would do it for sheer fun.

"I'll take my chances," I threw back easily.

"Do we have a problem here?" Soda queried. He rocked back in his chair, stretching like a long, lazy alley cat, but his brown eyes were flashing. His chair balanced precipitously on its back legs, its front legs up in the air as Soda held the table with one hand.

I eyed him nervously. "Yeah, don't crack your skull open."

Soda laughed and the fire died in his eyes a bit. Two-Bit and Steve said nothing, just waited expectantly, grinning. We had fought together all our lives and knew the difference between helping out and butting in. I really hoped it didn't come to either.

I heard the small snap of the blade shutting and Trevor slid it into his back pocket.

Trevor snickered. "Good thing your brother's here to shut you up."

"Wait for the big one to show." Two-Bit looked at Trevor knowingly. "It'll be real fun then."

Trevor leaned in close. "You shouldn't have opened your trap." He smirked, flipped me the bird and then him and his friends left the bar.

"What was all that about?" Soda asked me as I pulled out my chair to sit down.

In my daze of disbelief, I exploded, words spilling out of me like a flood. I was so relieved that I could remember everything without the deep ache in my stomach that I just couldn't stop them. "Goddamn it! He thought our own unit killed Tom Nichols. On _accident_. Yeah, well wouldn't that little bastard like to know his best buddy, the Soc, saved _this_ Greaser by taking a bullet to the throat." I sat back in my chair, like a sullen child. "I guess nothing comes out alive. Not even the truth."

_Oh yeah._ _I had an audience_.

They were more shocked then sad, their faces curious and pained. Soda forced himself to ask, "That happened right in front of you?"

"Yeah. And worse. I mean, shoot, Soda, that night was one of the worst nights over there. Tom saved my life but unfortunately I couldn't return the favor. And then…and then we got ambushed and AJ got shot and poor Shep just cracked up right then and there. Crock and I didn't know what to do, Doug just yelled at him but Shep couldn't stop crying for the life of him."

Cutting off abruptly, I exhaled shallowly. _Ok, breathe Ponyboy_, I told myself. I had gotten carried away. Biting my lip, I tapped the table at the awkward silence. "Sorry," I mumbled.

Steve shrugged, trying to seem impassive. Soda, who had been staring at the table through my tirade, brought his now sad face up and smiled slowly at me. "It's good."

Two-Bit mocked lightly. "What a buzz kill. Man, I need a drink after that." But he shot me a look, letting me know he wasn't unnerved by my story. His joke was for show.

"Well, then," Soda decided, picking up his glass, "let's drink to Tom."

Touched, I beamed at my brother. "Sounds good to me." We raised our glasses solemnly.

Taking a long drink, I thought about how fortunate I was to be sitting here and silently thanked Tom for allowing me that. But guilt was never a good thing and later I knew I'd rehash the 'why me?' vs. 'why him?' scenario.

Suddenly, interrupting all of our thoughts, a waitress delivered a drink to our table. A Shirley Temple was set down with flourish in front of Steve. "Your order, sir," she said giving him an embarrassed stare. It was a pink monstrosity. Cherries and paper umbrellas adorned the tall glass.

Two-Bit laughed heartily, tears springing to his eyes. "Steve, I never knew you had a thing for pink."

"Aw, what the hell?" Steve bitched, staring at it in horror. Soda slapped his back in feigned sympathy but laughed right along with me and Two-Bit.

Twisting in my seat, I saw the person I suspected was behind the prank: Shakes. He wiggled his eyebrows and moseyed on over to us from his place at the bar. Then, as I saw Darry walk through the door, I smiled; I was right where I should be.

XXXX

Ok, questions, comments, MORE vague mutterings about yourselves? They are quite great! Leave 'em all!

Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

Ok-extremely long chapter. So no talkie. Just readie.

And FYI I have been trying to update for a freakin' week. But it's at least working now.

XXXX

I'm on a sentimental journey

Into sight and sound

Of no return and no looking back or down

A consciences objector to the

War that's in my mind

Leaving in the lurch and I'm

Taking back what's mine

I'm on a mission

In the destination unknown

An expedition

In the desolation road

--Green Day

XXXX

Ponyboy's POV

_"Congrats kid. Done with high school. Off to college. You must be pretty damn proud." Dallas Winston stood before me, cigarette in hand, the whitish smoke seeming to make a shaky halo around his head. I smiled solemnly. I was now nearly the same age as he _had_ been. It was a tough combination to take: sad and freaky._

_"I don't see you." I said covering my eyes with a pillow that suddenly appeared in my hands. I absolutely could not be having these dreams again._

_"That may be the case," he swaggered, "but you can hear me. I have a present for you." _

_Curious, I lifted the pillow away from my face. Suddenly, it was gone. "What?" _

_Dally unveiled a glass bottle full of red liquid. "Catch." He tossed it to me and as my hands reached out for it, the passed through the glass, ghost-like, missing it. The bottle crashed to the floor, glass and liquid shooting everywhere. _

_"You made a mess," he told me bluntly, watching the red liquid drip down the floor. _

_"_I_ made the mess?" _

_Then Dally looked at me hard, his eyes blazing. "Long time…"_

…No see_ the unfinished words hung between us._

_Resisting the urge to pace the ground, or whatever I was standing on, I raised an eyebrow in exasperation. "Shoot, I'm almost afraid to ask why you're here.. But wait, you wouldn't tell me anything anyways. So why bother."_

_"That's why I like you kid, you catch on fast." Then he reached behind him and pulled out a broken mirror. "Care to take a peek?" He held it up to my face._

_I drew back hesitantly, and then began to peer into the reflecting glass. It wasn't me I saw staring back, but before my brain could unscramble the face I began to scream. _

Snapping up in my room, I tried to jump out of bed, tangled in blankets and sweat. In my haste, I crashed to the floor, hitting my water glass off the nightstand. Silently, it spun to the floor and then shattered into tiny fragments, the crash reverberating around the room. I winced at the harsh noise, which seemed louder to me than it actually was.

I held my breath and waited. Waited for Darry or Soda to pop their heads into the room. But no one came.

I breathed a sigh of relief, happy that I wasn't disturbing anyone. _Other than myself_. Now that Soda and I no longer shared a room and I didn't wake screaming bloody murder into his ear, he could sleep through anything. And Darry…well Darry was probably at Dana's.

The dream was fading quickly. Perplexed, I sat on the floor for thirty minutes trying to remember who I had seen in that mirror. Having no luck, I began the tedious midnight task of picking up the broken glass.

XXXX

"Boys," Darry yelled through the screen door, "if those burgers go on the ground I swear I'm going to make you eat them."

From my place on the front stoop, I looked up from my book to watch the gang. Sodapop and Steve were the acting chefs, grilling burgers. However, they were flipping them 10 feet in the air and then catching them with the spatula. "A little dirt never hurt anyone," Soda laughed.

"Yeah, but Darry might," Two-Bit said with amusement, his eyes following the vertical leap the burgers were taking, and then drifted over to me. "What're you reading? I thought you were done with school for the summer. Stop being anti-social." He grabbed the book from my hands and tossed it to Soda who slapped it besided him on the grass.

I smiled; I'd never get it finished with these guys around.

A loud roar of an engine told me Shakes was quickly approaching. Figuring he'd whip around the corner I mischievously strode into the middle of the street, knowing he'd skid to a halt right in front of me. His Ford rounded the corner and he slammed on the breaks, stopping within a few inches of me. Banging on the hood, I jumped back and laughed. He stuck his head out the window. "We're getting this down to an art."

"Practice makes perfect," I agreed, shooting a quick glance behind me, hoping Darry hadn't been watching through the screen door. Shakes had used the technique back in Tennessee, and roped me into being the 'victim'. He said it was great to pick up girls or even get out of a fight by pretending to be hit by a car. I wasn't sure about either of his theories, but it _was_ fun.

"Hey Pony, guess who wants to fight you?" Shakes asked getting out and slamming his door. His lopsided smile was serious.

"Are you kidding me? What's that guy's problem?" I asked with annoyance even though I knew good and well what kind of problem Trevor Gayles had with me.

"What's whose problem?" Soda asked from his place on the lawn. He wore an apron that said, "Natural Born Griller." However, from the looks of the burgers I had my doubts.

"A soc." I told him indifferently.

"An invitation to rumble," Shakes put in.

Soda's face darkened and I knew he was thinking of Trevor too. But he didn't say anything. Suddenly, Steve began cursing up a storm. Two-Bit uttered a wild whoop of laughter and pointed proudly at a fallen burger; Soda started clapping.

"Wanna stay for dinner?" I asked Shakes.

"It does look tempting," he said making a face at the grass-covered burger. "But I just came by to be the bearer of bad news." He pulled out his keys. "See you tonight?"

"Yeah, nine o'clock."

Darry, pushing the screen door open, came out grinning. He bent over and picked up the burger, holding it out to Sodapop and Steve. "So. Who's gonna eat this?"

XXXX

Shakes and I left the movie theatre at about eleven. Shakes was the only one of my friends who wanted to go to a movie and could actually sit still through the whole thing. Previews included.

To me, it was a miracle.

"Want to get a Pepsi before we get back?" he asked as we strolled down McClaren Avenue.

"Sure." We went to Dolly's Diner and grabbed a booth.

"I'll buy," he offered, plunking down some coins for the waitress. "Two Pepsi's please." After she took took the order, he looked at me. "My dad sent my mom some extra money this week. I'm just rollin' in the dough," he added generously. "Besides I still owe you for those drinks Tommy never charged me for." I still worked at Tommy's bar. After getting up the nerve to tell Darry, he had been extremely pissed and resistant to the idea. However, after pointing out the fact that I _did_ need a car for college, unless he wanted me to hitchhike everywhere, he eventually caved.

A disgusted look came over Shakes face.

"What?" I craned around, following his eyes.

Sitting a few tables back was Trevor Gayles with a few friends. Shakes shot me a knowing glance. "Gee. Surprise, surprise."

"Think someone put out a flyer we'd be here?" I joked dryly. This was our turf; the only reason they'd be over here would be to start trouble with me. Unfazed, I pulled out a smoke as the waitress set down our sodas.

Ten minutes later, three chairs scraped back and Trevor and his pals strutted up to our table. Shakes and I stared at each other for a quick second and then I looked up into Trevor's face.

Trevor sneered, "What're you looking at Grease?"

I raised an eyebrow Two-Bit style and replied disdainfully, "Not much." Shakes snickered and flicked his cigarette in the ashtray.

I felt pretty proud about that comeback until Trevor's hand darted out, grabbed my Pepsi bottle and cracked me across the head with it. Slivers of glass and drops of Pepsi flew everywhere.

"Maybe next time you'll think before opening that dumb trap of yours," he smirked. "Now, that's twice."

My mouth formed a silent 'O' and in my painful daze all I heard was Trevor's harsh chuckle and the slamming of the diner door as he left. I sat there, confused, until a warm trickle of blood, mixed with cold Pepsi began streaming down the side of my head.

"Here. Shit. Christ Ponyboy, take this," Shakes blathered pushing a napkin into my hand. Ignoring him and the shocked stares of the customers, I booked it out of the diner after Trevor. I was so angry I couldn't see straight.

I caught Trevor on the corner of Southerly and Lewis. His friends were gone so I saw this as an even fight. Tapping him on the shoulder, I pulled my right hand into a fist.

_When in Rome..._

Surprised, he turned around and I popped him a quick, fast one in the face. He staggered back, fell off the curb and landed on his ass. I smirked at him. "My turn."

"Not smart, Grease," Trevor warned, jumping back up. Before I could advance Shakes was there, pulling me away.

"Knock it off. D'you want the fuzz called?" He grabbed the back of my t-shirt and stuck an arm in front of me.

Trevor's face twisted into a gruesome smile. "I'd listen to your friend. The last thing you need is another murder rap." Distastefully, he wiped the blood from his nose onto his yellow sweater.

"And I'd shut the hell up buddy," Shakes informed. "I'm this close to whuppin' your scrawny ass myself."

Trevor considered this and then grinned maliciously at me. "See you around."

"You'd better believe it," I retorted furiously. After he had gone, I shouted at Shakes, "Can you believe that bastard?"

"Calm down." Shake's face was wary, his hands out trying to steady me as I paced the sidewalk.

A shout came from across the street. From the beers stuffed in the pockets of his jeans and the sideburns I judged it to be Two-Bit. "Hey, I thought I saw a couple of greasy JD's loitering over here…" He did a double take at seeing me. "Oh, shee-it kiddo…"

Frowning, I remembered my head. I touched my scalp, my hand coming away red. "Yup. That hurts," I muttered bitterly to Shakes.

"Serves you right rushin' out of there like that." Shakes scrunched his face up and poked his hands into my hair, prodding through the blood and glass. I winced but let him do it.

Two-Bit stuck his hands in his pockets and rocked on his heels. "Would uh, someone mind telling me what uh, exactly you two got into tonight?"

"Oh those socs," I replied sarcastically, "You know they just can't resist a Pepsi bottle and a greasers head." Two-Bit winced and sucked air through his teeth painfully.

My head began to throb and I swayed unsteadily.

Shakes shook my shoulder. "C'mon," he said snapping a finger in front of my face. "Look alive Ponyboy."

In the rush of things, I hadn't realized how bad my head was hurting. But once I had time to breathe, man it hurt like something else.

Two-Bit threw an arm around my shoulders. "It's a good thing you have a hard head, kid. Let's get you home. Doctor you up. Scare the crap out of your brothers. You know, the usual Friday night excitement."

XXXX

"Shakes, I swear to god, if you try to stick me with that thing…"

Shakes grinned and held up a sewing needle. "I think you need stitches."

I shook my head, annoyed at his hi-jinks, yet knowing he was only trying to get my mind off of what had happened. "I think I don't," I snapped, rubbing my temples and glaring at Two-Bit who was lounging in the hallway. "A little help here?"

He held up his hands, shrugging lazily. "I think you two got it covered."

Shakes raised the needle mockingly, laughed and then tossed it in the sink. "Here," he said, reaching behind him and grabbing some gauze. "I'll put this on, instead." Steve had been the last one to use it after getting so upset at Evie he put his hand through the wall.

"Thanks," I mumbled as Shakes unsteadily wound the white strips around my head. Instantly, the gauze turned bright red.

"Hmm," Two-Bit said, raising an eyebrow at that. "Maybe you do need stitches."

I stuck my long legs out from my makeshift chair on the toilet lid and sighed. "No. I'm fine. What I need to do is get that guy. Hard."

"Now I'm all for a good rumble, kid," Two-Bit spoke cautiously, scratching the back of his head, "But I have a sneaking suspicion, just from looking at you, that he doesn't exactly fight fair."

"Well, he'd better learn how," I bit out harshly. But at the moment, I didn't exactly feel like fighting fair myself.

A deep cough made us all turn our heads. Darry, Sodapop and Steve stood watching us, their eyes full of questions. "What the hell happened?" Darry said loudly, scanning the messy and bloody bathroom.

"Nothing a few aspirins can't cure," I reassured, not wanting to worry them.

At Darry's flummoxed and annoyed expression, Two-Bit spoke up. "Some soc took a swipe at him with a bottle." Darry blanched and Two-Bit reassured him hastily, "No thanks to your brother's big mouth."

Despite my throbbing head, I grinned and pointed at Two-Bit. "Hey, I learned from the best. Blame him," I told Darry.

"Oh no, you're not pinning this on me," Two-Bit laughed good-naturedly. "What comes out of your mouth is your own problem."

Sodapop, who would have been in the bathroom instantly had it not been overly crowded, knitted his eyebrows together. "Should we call Dana?"

I knew I paled. But it wasn't from the head wound. Lord, I would rather be cracked across the skull a dozen more times than have Dana cooing and fussing over me. My eyes widened as I glanced with panic at Shakes; he read my mind.

Shakes laughed softly. "No, he'll be fine, Sodapop." That earned him a nice glare from both my brothers.

Steve's jaw was tight as he growled, "Yeah, I'd like to crack you across the head with a glass bottle and have you tell me you're 'fine', you little pipsqueak."

"Move," Darry ordered Shakes rudely, pushing him out of the bathroom, as if Shakes had caused this problem. And in fact, knowing Darry, he probably was thinking that. I shot my friend an apologetic glance but he just shrugged. Darry knelt down and inspected the damage.

"Glory Darry! Ow! Don't be so rough." I shoved his hands away.

He spoke in a tone that was usually reserved for five year olds. "I barely touched you." Then examining it one last time, he nodded and said grudgingly, "You're right. It's not that deep." Justified, I hopped off my seat a little too quickly. I gasped and clutched the sink.

Darry stood and thumped my chest with his knuckle. "Take it easy."

"Darry," I begged, "Can I have some aspirin?" After my last nightmare he had stuck them somewhere in the house. It would figure that when I really needed them I couldn't find them."Please?" I moaned at his doubtful expression. "My head really does hurt this time."

"Hey I can always go back to my place and get some of my mom's painkillers." Shakes grinned, baiting Darry. "They'd knock you out like that."

"Fine," Darry grumbled, walking into the kitchen. Eagerly, I trotted after him, followed by Two-Bit and Sodapop. Shakes and Steve were left to antagonize each other.

Darry opened one of the canisters we never used for flour and pulled out the bottle of aspirin. I held out my hand.

"Aw shucks Darry, take pity on the kid," Two-Bit laughed as Darry hesitantly doled out two aspirin.

Darry sighed and then slapped three more into my palm. "That's all." Darry waited for me to gulp them down and then asked, "So. Are you going to tell me who did this?"

_No._

Soda answered for me, ignoring my warning glance. I definitely didn't want to involve anyone, especially Darry. Soda, looking as if he wanted to join in on beat down right then and there said, "I think I have a pretty good idea."

XXXX

Questions, inane banter, bounteous reviews are mucho appreciated. Hope you all enjoyed the extremely long chapter…and you weren't bored to tears. ;)

Peace&Love


	6. Chapter 6

Quickie chapter. Pardon the typos!

Enjoy and leave me reviews!

XXXX

The cashier she always squints

By the gum and the bowl of mints

She's tapping her toe

To the Dean Martin on the consolette

Booth service and a cigarette we're loving it so

Side of fries a dollar

Or the haddock plate two ninety five

A rootbeer float a pepsi

And be sure to save some room for some apple pie

Better make it a-la-mode

--Martin Sexton

XXXX

Soda's POV

I couldn't sleep. It was three in the morning and I was staring at my ceiling. I wanted to – no, I _needed_ to go check on Ponyboy. His nasty cut to the head brought back memories of too long ago. The rumble. This time, if anything was wrong, I didn't want to catch it too late.

"Screw this," I muttered, sliding out of bed. He was going to think I was nuts, but what could I do.

I tiptoed into his room and sat down on the edge of his bed. Shaking him awake, I flinched, hoping I wouldn't catch a right to my jaw. "Kiddo, wake up."

He opened his green eyes and stared at me blearily. "Soda? Was I having another nightmare," he asked, confused.

"No." I squinted at him in the dim light. "But have you been?"

He caught his blunder, looking sheepish. "No." At my doubtful look he added, "Yeah. Pretty much every other night." Before I could say anything, his scowl cut me off. "Don't tell Darry. It's nothin' to be worryin' him over."

At my disapproving stare, he laughed. "Don't try to pull off 'strict'. It doesn't work for you." His green eyes twinkled in the dim light. My expression of disapproval morphed into one of amazement. Damn, he knew me too well.

Ignoring his comment, I asked, "How's the noggin'?"

Pony frowned. "Oh yeah. Throbbing." Then he broke into a laugh. "Now if only that blow to my head had stopped the nightmares. Now, _that_ would have been worth it." He touched his scalp tentatively and then noticed the time on his clock. "Is everything ok?"

"I know. It's a pretty ungodly hour to be up. Darry would be proud of me." I waggled my eyebrows at him.

"We should give you a medal," he half-yawned, half-grinned at me.

I shifted. It was time to get down to the real reason I was here. I looked my brother point-blank in the eyes. "What was the name of that soc?"

The smile fell off Pony's face. His expression merged between annoyance and exasperation. "Soda, I can handle him. If that's what you're worried about. Believe me, I got it covered."

I tried to keep my face impassive, unreadable as I openly lied to him; something I had never done. "I know you can handle it," I began slowly, "but I just want to keep my ears open. Just in case, you dig?"

We sat in silence for a moment or two. Ponyboy played with the edge of his comforter, his jaw tight.

"C'mon, Pone. I'll find out one-way or the other. Besides it's my right. As a big brother." I shot him a goofy grin and poked him in the ribs.

Not liking me at the moment, he met my eyes. "Fine. Trevor Gayles."

I filed that away, memorizing every letter of that shithead's name. Nodding, I ruffled his hair, careful of the bandages. "Thanks. Now go back to sleep."

"Soda," he called out when I reached the door, my back toward him. "Promise me one thing."

"Name it."

"Don't do anything you wouldn't want me to do." His tone was both jovial and cautious. I didn't have to turn around to know there was a smile on my brother's face. He had me.

I let my forehead rest against the closed door. _Damn it._

XXXX

"Oh, hey Evie."

She cracked a bubble in my face as she came out of the DX. "Hey Sodapop." She held the door open for me and cocked her head; her blonde curls swinging. "How's your brother? Steve said he got cut up a few nights ago."

"He's fine. He's a tough kid."

Evie snorted. "He had better be. Hanging around with you all." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes; like Steve, she had the odd habit of throwing around cryptic comments. Then she glanced behind her through the door. Steve sat on the front counter and Two-Bit danced around with a windshield wiper. "They're all yours," she told me, leaving.

"Slow day?" I asked my friends.

Steve smirked. "You know what they say…when the boss is away…"

I grinned back and crossed my arms behind my head. "I love our job." Then I asked Two-Bit, "Why aren't you at work?"

"Lunch break."

I raised an eyebrow at him. It was ten in the morning. "An extremely _long_ lunch break," he added, fiddling with the wiper. He jerked as he snapped the windshield wiper in half. "Oops."

"Oh c'mon," Steve spat, snatching the broken wiper back from Two-Bit. "It's bad enough I have to put up with you at home."

Two-Bit finally had a job. He worked at the auto dealer downtown selling cars. Surprisingly, he was pretty good at it. I don't think he cared if he sold any, but his carefree attitude paid off because he had a real knack for it; he was top salesperson last month. It actually worked out pretty well for Steve and me too. We had instant referrals. If someone's car needed fixing Two-Bit would send them on over to us. And if someone needed a new car we'd send them to Two-Bit.

"Steve, you do care," Two-Bit said, pretending to wipe away a tear. Then he turned to me. "How's the kid?"

"Stubborn as usual. Told me to butt out." Evaluating the carburetor of a Buick, I picked up my tools grimacing at the rusty car. It was shot. "Steve hand me that valve."

He tossed it to me and I caught it with my now greasy hands.

Steve raised an eyebrow. "You're not actually going to listen to him are you?"

"What do you think," I began slowly, "of me having a talk with that soc?" Lord knows, Darry already wanted to.

Steve and Two-Bit exchanged a grin. "Now we were wondering when you were going to suggest that," Steve whooped.

Two-Bit rubbed his hands together gleefully. "And I –no need to thank me- have already taken the liberty of finding out Mr. Gayle's choice of hangout."

I wiped my hands off. "Well, Stevie, I guess I know where we'll be taking our lunch break."

XXXX

We followed Trevor home from the drive-in. He pulled up in front of his house, hopping out of his Mercedes. Parking opposite him on the street, I jumped out of Steve's truck and strode up to him. Steve and Two-Bit lagged behind, leaning against the truck. "Howdy," Two-Bit called out, waving and chomping on a beef jerky he had swiped from the DX.

"How can I help you fellas?" Trevor Gayles began, sauntering up to us. I had the sudden urge to smack that carefree smile away from his face.

I threw back my own fake smile. "You can help me by staying the hell away from my brother." I resisted the urge to punch him, to drive my point home. Besides, fighting with him in broad daylight was just stupid. Knowing a soc, he'd call the fuzz in a second. So, I tried to practice pacification. _Damn, it was hard_, I thought, clenching my fists together.

Trevor scoffed and tossed his smoke aside. "I'd really like to help you out with that, however I'm afraid no can do. Sorry." Pausing, he then growled, "I think you're on the wrong side of town Greaser."

Amused, I turned back around to shoot Steve a grin. "Well how about that? Steve, did you hear that? We're on the wrong side of town."

"It wouldn't take a genius to figure that out, judging by the amount of assholes running around," he snarled, lighting a cigarette.

Trevor rolled his eyes. "Thanks for the warning. I'll be sure to keep it in mind."

"You be sure to do that." I shut my eyes briefly. _Man, it was hard being witty when all I wanted to do was deck the SOB. _

Trevor shrugged, glowering. "Well, as you can see I'm not exactly feeling generous at the moment." I noticed the bruise on his left cheek from where Pony had clocked him.

I gritted my teeth. "You leave him alone, you hear? And that's the last time I'll say that." Turning away sharply, I marched back to the truck, feeling proud that I had managed to restrain myself.

"How's his head by the way?" Trevor called out, the smile evident in his voice. "If only I had just hit him a little harder maybe-"

He didn't have a chance to finish his sentence, because I wasn't going to give him one. I grabbed him by his shirt collar and slammed him against his Mustang. His blonde head smacked the back of the door and his eyes widened. "If you touch him again, I'll hurt you. Bad. You understand?" I whispered murderously, boiling inside.

Trevor wiggled in my grasp, uttering an _Hmmph_ noise.

"I'd nod if I were you," Two-Bit suggested to Trevor. "Quickly."

Trevor managed to bob his head and I dropped my hands, raising them in an _I'm done with you_ gesture. I watched him wheeze and then sputter to catch his breath. "Thanks for the talk," I said to his pale face.

Steve pulled away from the curb and zoomed down the road, trying to light a cigarette and drive at the same time. My hand darted out and gripped the wheel for him; I was just waiting for the time when he slammed his truck into the ditch.

"Think he'll listen?" Two-Bit asked me after a few seconds of content silence, watching Trevor through the rear window.

"He'd better," was all I said.

Steve glanced at me, smirking. "You know Pony's gonna flip when he hears about this."

I grinned back, missing my 14-year old brother who had at one time wanted me to come to his defense. "Oh yeah. Big time."

Two-Bit rubbed his chin, his eyes laughing. "Now the only question is: who'll be more pissed? Darry or Ponyboy?"

I put my hand out. "Care to bet on it?"

XXXX

Perhaps a pointless chapter, but I wanted to get Soda's POV in here somewhere.

Leave reviews please? Or random musings?

Peace & Love!


	7. Chapter 7

New chap! Thanks to everyone for their reviews! Also, correction, Trevor drives a Mercedes. I was debating between the two and decided to go w/ something different for a change! ;)

Pardon the typos and I own no one…except…well you'll see…

XXXX

And I'm so confused

About what to do

Sometimes I want

To throw it all away

So here I am

Growing older all the time

Looking older all the time

Feeling younger in my mind

-Goldfinger

XXXX

"Sodapop Curtis!" I yelled, throwing the front door open. Darry, sitting in his recliner, looked up from his magazine in surprise at the tone of my voice. I wasn't happy.

From his place on the couch, I shot Two-Bit a nasty look. Unaffected, he beamed at me. "What's the problem kid?"

Tossing my book and jacket on the floor, I eyed him. "Like you don't know."

Shamefaced, Soda stuck his head out from the kitchen. "You rang?" Steve set his poker cards down, grinning as he took a drink of his beer.

"I thought I told you…" I began, frowning at my brother.

He scoffed good-naturedly. "You really thought I was going to listen?" Soda's face held an expression of innocence, asking me to not be upset with him.

"Besides what was the harm?"

I gritted my teeth. "Sodapop. You gotta just let me handle my own things alright? For once in your life don't worry about me," I whispered, talking fast, my words running into each other.

Soda, taken aback, cocked his head. "Aw, Pone-"

"What'd you do Soda?" Darry interrupted, sighing.

"Just had me a little 'talk' with Trevor Gayles." Soda flexed his fingers out cockily. I tapped my foot; annoyed he wasn't taking me seriously. I had deliberately asked him to let me handle things and then he goes and riles Trevor up even more. Soda's long arm darted out, trying to ruffle my hair, call a truce but I stayed out of reach.

Boy, sometimes I sure didn't dig being the youngest. I couldn't change it; but I could fight it.

Also deep down, I didn't want to put anyone in the middle; from experience I knew what happened to those who tried to help me out.

At Trevor's name, recognition dawned on Darry's face. Looking at me out of the corner of his eye, he considered something briefly and then decided it wasn't worth it. Darry grunted and then flapped his paper back open. "Soda, as long as you're not in jail, I could care less." A glimmer of a smile danced across his face.

"Now _that_ is what I like to hear," Soda said proudly, drumming his fingers on the table.

_What in the hell was this?_ Dumbfounded, my mouth dropped open in shock. _Shoot, I guess I missed the memo that Darry no longer had a stick up his ass_.

I eyed him suspiciously, feeling betrayed at my older brother's sudden lax attitude. Without the threat of the state, was this the brother I had had all along and just never known? Carefree, unrestrictive?

Or was it just because the culprit was Sodapop?

Annoyed and somewhat amused, I threw my arms up. "Wow. Unreal." I plopped down next to Two-Bit on the couch. "Tell you what Darry. Next time I pull something that makes you shit yourself, I'll remember this."

Darry growled something inaudible and ignored me, turning his paper over to the sports section. Soda chuckled and shook his head.

Two-Bit erupted into a wild whoop. "Stevie, my man, you owe me five bucks." He pointed his thumb at me. "Kid's about to pop a coronary."

Steve scowled and dug into his back pocket pulling out his wallet. "Just once Darry, just once, you couldn't come through for me," he complained, slapping five dollars on the table. "Come and get it you lazy bum," he said to a joyous Two-Bit.

XXXX

"Get any good classes?" Shakes asked, coming outside to meet me from our designated registration line.

Earlier today, the two of us had gone down to the University of Tulsa to do early registration for fall classes. Already I was beginning to feel overwhelmed, out of place. _What was I getting myself into_?

I shrugged. "Math, English. The basics, I guess. All the good stuff was closed."

"Check it out." Shakes handed me his schedule.

I scanned it and then looked at him with amusement. "Women's Studies?"

He smiled lecherously. "You know, I don't really know if I'm in there to pick up chicks or piss them off."

"You're on your own," I told him laughing and handing it back to him. "But I'd pay to see you in action."

"That could be arranged my friend," he said rubbing his hands together. "That could be arranged." Then Shakes frowned and took a second glance at his schedule. "Are you kidding me?"

"What?"

"Man, they put me in Astronomy. I thought I asked for Astrology."

A smile snuck onto my face; I doubted they offered that course but I let Shakes rattle on, blissfully ignorant. "I thought people who worked at colleges were supposed to be smart. Jesus. Hold on a minute while I go change it."

And with that, Shakes trotted off into the student services building.

XXXX

Glory. When I got my hands on Shakes I was going to brain him. His 'minute' had turned into 30 and then into 60.

I didn't know where he had gone off to; except all I did know was that he had driven today, leaving me without a ride.

"Goddammit Shakes," I muttered wishing I had brought a jacket along today, as the sunny sky suddenly darkened and rain began pelting down on me. It was only three o'clock but looked like it was ten. Prime tornado weather.

Ducking into the Arts and Sciences building I wandered the empty halls, searching for a pay phone. I snorted to myself. My first time on a college campus and I needed to call one of my 'big' brothers to come and pick me up. Even though I couldn't, I knew Two-Bit would appreciate the irony.

On the second floor, I stumbled into a flood of summer school students exiting a large classroom. A voice drifted out of the classroom: "Your assignments for the weekend: chapter three and don't smoke crack."

I would have laughed at the joke had I not felt as if I had been sucker-punched. That voice. It was faintly familiar but I couldn't place it. Instantly, I felt lost; my surroundings alien.

Waiting until the students cleared the doorway I took a breath and stuck my head into the classroom. There at the mahogany desk, clearing papers was Sergeant Caplan. "Holy shit," I breathed. His hair was a bit longer, his face older and warier, but it was Caplan.

Amused, he threw his head up. Seeing me, he balked, surprise jumping onto his features. Then Caplan grinned, his craggy face breaking into a wide smile. "Well, I'll be damned. Ponyboy Curtis."

So many questions were running through my mind that I didn't know what to say. I stood there in that doorway muttering, "What? How-?"

He raised an eyebrow and barked at me, "Are you going to stand there or come say hello?"

Sheepishly, I ran a hand through my hair and crossed the room. _Just call me Mr. Articulate. _

As I neared him, he reached out and pumped my hand, clapping my right shoulder with his left hand. "Looks like you're surviving."

"I'm trying," I said honestly, still shocked.

Caplan shifted and that's when I got a glimpse of him steadying himself on a wooden cane. Noticing my gaze, Caplan raised his left pant leg to show me a prosthetic limb. Crestfallen, my face fell and I bit my lip.

I found my shaky voice. "How'd it happen?"

"A bit of shrapnel to this old leg sent me home. I would have thought something a little more heroic like a sniper or something would have earned me my ticket home, but no. Damn shrapnel." At my silence, Caplan choked out a hoarse laugh. "Buck up kid, it's not the end of my world. I get around fine; nothin' I can't handle."

I shot him a grin. I'd expect nothing less from Caplan. "So how'd you get a teaching gig?" I asked quizzically, getting down to the basics.

"Visiting professor. I'll be teaching through next spring. Believe it or not, I actually had a degree before joining the army. Figured I'd put it to some good use." He cocked his head, running a hand down his beard. "Been in Tulsa about a month. Never thought I'd run into you."

It was my turn to cock my head. "Why Tulsa?" I tried, but couldn't remember if I ever knew where he was from. Come to think of it, I didn't know too much about him…well, other than his son…

"Well, Virginia didn't hold the same charm after Molly died." He lost his smile.

_Insert foot into mouth._

I blanched. "Sarge, I'm sorry…"

He waved me off. "We both knew it was coming. We just didn't expect it to be coming so soon. Time to get away."

I sighed, thinking of my parents, that familiar heavy ache settling into my chest. Sarge was alone, in a strange city. His son was dead and now his wife. He was thrown from something he knew into a different world. What could I say, except: "I know how you feel."

Caplan gave me a strange, yet curious look and then said, "I take it you're not hanging around the campus for shits and giggles."

"Hardly," I said, remembering why I was here in the first place. _Talk about a flashback_. "I registered today for fall classes."

Caplan stood there thoughtfully for a moment before pulling up a stack of papers, briefly rifling through them. "Here. Go back and drop a class. Take mine instead." I took the yellow paper he handed me.

I glanced down at the syllabus: _History 107: The History of War_. Surprised, I looked up at him.

"Think you can handle it?" he asked, his blue eyes serious.

"Shoot, I sure hope so," I told him.

He nodded. "You're a good kid." Then he gave me that look that made me know he was thinking of his son.

"Sarge," I asked out of the blue, "want to come over for dinner sometime?"

"Hell Curtis, I'd be insulted if you didn't ask. I did cover your ass for a year," Sarge laughed, gathering up his belongings. He issued a curt nod at the classroom. "You know where to find me."

As I was leaving, I stopped in the middle of the doorway. "Something wrong?" Caplan asked from behind me.

"Yeah," I replied grinning. "I don't have a ride."

XXXX

Enjoy!

Leave reviews please!

Special thanks to AlleyCat for her ideas and ffnet is not letting us correspond while at work! Boo.

Also thanks to Cailiosa for the great reviews and thanks for reading. W/ regards to the last review…I agree with you about Darry's excuse for PB's absence…it is pretty weak…yet I have a brain fart…any ideas? Anyone? Well I shall strain my little brain…


	8. Chapter 8

Ok all: I know it's been SO long and I do apologize. I really wanted to get this chapter right…and I obsessed over it…so with much ado…

And also…I am actually going to be moving on Monday…a 30 hour drive awaits me…so needless to say I am not looking forward to it and I probably won't be able to update for two weeks or so until I get settled. But the good news is that I already have the next two chapters drafted…so hopefully they'll come fast!

Wish me luck!

Enjoy and please leave reviews!! 

XXXX

Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go I wanna be sedated

Nothin' to do no where to go-o-oh I wanna be sedated

Just get me to the airport put me on a plane

Hurry hurry hurry before I go insane

I can't control my fingers I can't control my brain

Oh no oh oh oh oh

-The Ramones

XXXX

Ponyboy's POV

"Whatcha doin' kiddo?"

Startled, the glasses I had been carrying slipped in my hands. Juggling them quickly I managed to save them before they crashed to the kitchen floor. "Glory! Sodapop, you scared me to death!"

Amused, my brother eyed me. "Might jumpy ain't we?"

"Sorry," I mumbled, "but what are you doing home? I thought you had work tonight."

Soda swung his DX cap off and plopped it on my head. "You thought wrong. Today's Tuesday. I get off at 4, remember?"

"No, I didn't." I shut my eyes briefly, knowing that lately my mind had been a million miles away. Then I snapped them open with unease. "Soda, what time does Darry get home?"

Giving me an odd look, he replied, "Five. Why do you want us out of the house so bad?"

Crap. And I thought I had it all planned out.

Before I could say anything Soda's eyes widened and his face broke out into a teasing smile. "Ponyboy Curtis. Do you have a date?"

I groaned, suddenly wishing I did. I never would have thought that having my brothers meet a new girlfriend would be a lot easier than having them meet Sergeant Caplan. Once again, my two different lives were crossing paths. It had successfully happened once with Shep and Crock but I doubted it this time.

Caplan was the one who basically told Darry to go take a flying leap; he was keeping me in the Army. So based on that, I had a pretty good idea Caplan wasn't too popular with Darry.

And with Soda...well it would just remind him of Vietnam. And the time that I was gone.

Sighing, I stared with resignation at a grinning Soda, waiting for the smile to fade. "No." I rubbed the back of my head. "You remember my old sergeant…well I ran into him a few weeks ago…he's living here now…and he's coming over tonight…" I trailed off uneasily, waiting for Soda's reaction.

The smile stayed plastered on his face, although I could see his jaw stiffen, the smile a bit more forced. "Huh. Small world," was all he said.

"Soda…if you want we could do it another night…" I offered lamely.

"No, no, no," he said. "I'll need to be here to play ref between him and Darry." Then he shot me a real grin. It had taken a minute, but as always, he understood.

"Wait, you don't think it's going to be _that_ bad do you?" I called out after him as he went into his room to change. He merely laughed at me. I frowned, wondering if Soda was jerking me around or being serious.

The doorbell rang just as I was imagining the disastrous night that could lie ahead. "Shit," I said, rushing to the door. Before I could get to it, the door swung open and Two-Bit and Steve sauntered in, Caplan behind them, looking amused. Two-Bit carried a pack of beer, Steve a grubby piece of mechanical equipment.

"Curtis," he told me, "I seem to have stumbled into your friends."

Two-Bit and Steve stared at me curiously, awaiting introductions. Man, I hated these.

"This is…William Caplan…my Sergeant in the army. He's teaching a few college courses here."

The seemed at a loss until Two-Bit cleared his throat. "Keith Matthews," he said seriously, extending his right hand, which Caplan pumped heartily.

I gaped at Two-Bit's unusual display of normality. Steve, choking back a laugh, followed Two-Bit's example. "Steve," he said briskly, shaking hands with Caplan.

"What'd I miss?" Soda asked, coming out from his bedroom barefoot.

"Sarge, this is my brother Sodapop." They stared at each other, until Caplan's eyes crinkled as he smiled at my brother.

"Nice to meet the _real_ Sodapop," Caplan said.

Soda nodded. "Thank you," he said softly. Instantly, the room quieted. We all got the hidden meaning behind Soda's words.

Caplan, as smooth as always, merely said, "Not a problem." Then he glanced at the case of beer Two-Bit was carrying. "You gonna drink all those yourself?"

XXXX

An hour or so later, we were all into our second beer, lounging around the living room.

I had breathed a sigh of relief that Caplan had not chosen to sit in Darry's recliner. Now that would have definitely been an awkward moment.

Instead, Two-Bit now occupied it, Caplan and me on the couch, Soda and Steve sprawled out on the ground. Steve and Soda were trying to multi-task; fooling around with an engine they had disassembled earlier at work.

It was odd seeing Caplan out of his element, relaxing with us. Yet, to me he was still a figure of authority. His brown hair was graying slightly, but he was as trim as ever. He was wearing blue jeans and a button up shirt with the cuffs rolled up. I kept seeing him in his uniform…I wondered if he thought the same about me.

Caplan looked at me with interest. "Tell me something, Curtis. Do you still run as fast as you used to?"

"Yes, sir. I won the state track meet last year."

Two-Bit and Steve raised their eyebrows. "Sir? Sir?" Two-Bit guffawed, his serious pretense gone now that he had some alcohol in his system. "Listen to you. Hey Steve, check out Mr. Manner's over here."

I rolled my eyes and Steve did as well. "Oh man. Living with this guy is really taking it's toll on me," he joked."

"Take a lesson, Two-Bit," Soda laughed. Already, I could tell he liked Caplan. Everyone did.

Caplan chuckled lightly. "You sure could run," he mused. Soda glanced at me briefly and then ducked his head, busying himself with the engine.

"Yeah, I sure came in handy when it came time to run ammo across Gook territory," I said sarcastically.

Two-Bit spoke up. "At least the Socs were good for something Ponyboy. They kept you on your toes. Gave you some experience."

How true that was… 

Caplan, tapped his cane against the floor, deep in thought. I watched Soda's eyes flicker to it, to his leg and then back to me. Caplan saw it too. "Don't mind the leg," he said to Soda. "I just got in the way of some shrapnel."

Steve covered for his embarrassed best friend. "How long were you over there for?"

"About five years…give or take. Although it feels a helluva lot longer than-"

We barely heard Darry come in, but the slamming of the front door jolted all of us. Quickly, I scanned his face, praying to god that Dana hadn't sent him home in a pissy mood.

"Did I miss the party?" he asked.

"No, there's still time. Jump in," Soda offered.

Darry's eyes fell upon Caplan, who smoothly stood up, hand resting on his cane.

"Hello Darrel," Caplan said easily.

Despite only meeting once, Darry recognized Caplan. His eyes grew dark and he made no attempt to offer a hand. "What are you doing here?"

Then I was up and off the couch. Sometimes I still forgot that I was 17 and now actually had a say in the house. "Darry," I interjected firmly, "Relax."

Darry spoke to me but his eyes were still on Caplan. "How'd you two run into each other?"

I knew Darry's fear then…shoot it was the same as mine: the past rearing its ugly head.

"I'm taking one of his courses in the fall."

Gritting his jaw, Darry nodded slowly. "Ok. Ok." He took a quick look at me and then turned back to Caplan. "Well, I'm sure I'll see you around," he said flatly.

And I knew that was all he could say right now, all he could to do keep his temper in check. But I was still annoyed. _I mean, Christ make an effort, Darry_, I wanted to whine.

"Good to see you Darrel," Caplan said.

"Sorry," I mumbled to Caplan as he made way to leave.

He waved me off. "I'm sure you and I both expected this. Don't worry about it. Keep in touch, Curtis." He slapped my shoulder gruffly and left the house.

"I think that went well," I told the tongue-tied room, before glaring at Darry. Soda rolled onto his back and pretended to pray.

Sighing, Darry shook his head. "Pony…just…don't…" Then Darry looked pointedly at Two-Bit who was in his chair. "Move," he grumbled.

Two-Bit jumped out of the chair; his arms out like an usher. "Your grace," he said as Darry took his seat.

Soda, breaking the staring contest Darry and I were having, asked, "Pone, come help me with these bottles, willya?"

I grabbed a few up but Darry had one last question to ask me as I was leaving the room. "So, Pony. What exactly is the course you're taking?"

Stopping in my tracks, I turned around and faced him. "The History of War," I told him evenly.

XXXX

Ok…pardon any typos…I wrote this kinda late and fast…I wanted to get one final chapter out before I take a few weeks hiatus.

Enjoy, please leave reviews, mumblings, incantations, and things like that! ;)


	9. Chapter 9

I am baaaaack! Muhahah! So my trip went well, I made it in one piece. Although I am now out of work….which is depressing. But hopefully I'll put my spare time to some good use by updating! I really hope you enjoy this and please leave reviews!!

Also…this chapter has violence/cursing. Be forewarned.

XXXX

I was so damned scared I held hands with a crazy man

I was so damned scared I held hands and wound up with a crazy man

But he wasn't crazy

And I wasn't scared

We were just brothers who stood there and stared

--Harry Connick Jr.

XXXX

"_It ain't gonna be you this time," a voice said joyfully. "But boy, oh boy, will you still die." A laugh crackled somewhere to the left of me. Cocking my head, I tried to make sense of the familiar voice._

"_See who you stuck me with? Thanks a load kid," Dallas Winston said. He walked up to me and stuck a smoke in my outstretched hand. And then to the taunting voice he said, "Shut your trap." _

_Blinking, I whipped around to see Jimmy Logan sitting on a barstool. The cigarette in my hand vanished. Rubbing my closed eyes, I whispered, "Go away. I shouldn't be dreaming about you any more." Then, I opened them to look pointedly at Dally. "Either of you." _

_Dallas put his right hand over the left side of his chest and smiled coldly. "Aw, you're breaking my heart, kid." Surprised at his vehemence I drew away from him. The backs of my legs hit something stiff and they buckled, causing me to sink into a mound of blankets. Frightened, I suddenly found various tubes running out of my body to bags of liquid hanging high above me._

_Dallas's smile relaxed. "Hate to burst your bubble," he drawled, "but you've earned it. We may come and go but we'll always be here. Bugging the crap out of you." _

"_But why him?" I nodded at Jimmy Logan. _

"_Because he's a memory too," Johnny said, appearing. "You'll never forget him." _

"_Unfortunately," I muttered. But I smiled at Johnny. It was good to see him at least. _

"_Hey I'd be thanking me," Jimmy intoned. "I helped you get your head screwed on straight." _

_I raised an eyebrow. "Right." _

_Dallas affected the appearance of a teacher. "Now tell me Ponyboy Curtis, what have you learned these past few years?" He folded his arms over his chest; Johnny snickered. _

_I stared at him. "That everyone dies." The answer to his question was obvious._

"_Well, that's not exactly a brain buster," Jimmy snorted. _

_Ignoring Jimmy, Dally seemed as if that wasn't the answer he wanted. But it was an answer that worked for me. He nodded slowly and chewed at the inside of his lip. "Not quite."_

_J__ohnny flicked one of the tubes. "Don't forget what you learned. Away from Tulsa. Without us." __I frowned at him. But before I could say anything Johnny slid a shot glass over to me. "Drink it." It was filled with brown liquid. _

_Grimacing, I pushed it away, almost feeling bad for refusing my old friend. "No." _

"_You won't be disappointed." _

_Biting my lip, I took the shot, swallowing it down in one gulp. Chocolate milk. Metallic chocolate milk; almost the taste one would get when biting into a piece of tinfoil."It tastes bad." _

_Dallas smirked. "It usually is." I jerked as the tubes filled with my blood and I-_

I awoke on the verge of a scream. It died on my lips as I sat up abruptly, clapping my hands over my mouth. Despite the warm house, I shivered, my t-shirt drenched in sweat. At least I hadn't hollered. That was a start. My eyes adjusted to the darkness.

Again, the dreams were a catch-22. Dally and Johnny were a welcome sight, although the messages and people they brought with them usually weren't. Distracted by that I frowned.

_Just once why couldn't I see my parents? _

Then just as quickly as I had thought it, I shook it off. _That_ was better left buried.

"Dallas," I whispered leaning back into bed, hating what I'd been stuck with, "You're a son-of-a-bitch."

XXXX

Even though Shakes and I were technically on summer vacation it seemed as if everyone was infected by it. "Greetings," Two-Bit crowed shuffling into the house, Steve and Sodapop bounding after him. Shakes and I had been watching a daytime movie. Shakes briefly rolled his eyes at me. I got what he was saying and regretfully muted the TV. We'd never figure out the plot with these three around.

Without missing a beat, Darry's strong voice wafted out of the back bedroom. "What happened to working on a weekday?"

Soda shot me his famous grin and yelled back, "Weaseled today off. What about yourself Dar?"

Darry was silent but I could practically hear him grumbling to himself.

"Pony." Two-Bit tossed me his wallet. It landed on my lap with a plop.

"What?" I asked looking up in surprise.

"Go buy me some beer."

"You're so lazy," I flung the wallet back. "Get it yourself."

"Come on. You could run there and back by the time I made it out the front door. Do you really want me to huff and puff all the way to the convenience store?"

I raised an eyebrow. "If that's the case, then you could use the exercise."

Steve laughed at that, saying, "Listen to the kid. He has a point."

Wounded, Two-Bit looked down at his stomach. "Now is that some wisecrack about my small, nearly non-existent beer gut?" Behind him, Soda nodded enthusiastically at me. I bit my lip and tried not to laugh.

Darry came out of the bedroom. "Ponyboy, why don't you go? We could use some chocolate milk."

"Darry, you're supposed to be on my side," I moaned, scowling at Two-Bit who beamed at me.

"I'll go with you," Shakes said, slapping my leg. He pulled himself up from the floor and away from the TV. "I need some smokes anyways."

"While you're there," Soda said sheepishly, "mind getting me some playing cards? I need a fresh deck."

"Sure." I said with resignation, snatching the wallet back from Two-Bit. "Since it was your bright idea," I said taking a five-dollar bill.

XXXX

We went down to Granger's, a gas station/convenience store. It was kind of scummy but it did the job for quick beer runs. The muggy summer day left us panting as we pushed open the creaky door. "I have got to get air conditioning," Shakes complained as we entered the store, the doorbell above us jangling. Shakes made his way to the ICEE machine and filled two cups with bright, red strawberry slush. He held up the cups. "Sugar buzz?"

I grabbed the chocolate milk, cards and Two-Bit's beer, and juggled them over to the cash register. The door jangled behind me as the cashier began to ring up the items. I held my hand out to Shakes for the ICEE's. "Give me those. Two-Bit's paying."

His hand came out to meet mine when it jerked abruptly. Before I could catch it, the cups fell to the tile, spilling syrupy red liquid everywhere.  
"Shakes, wha-?" I broke off as his eyes widened, staring past me to the door.

Inadvertently I stiffened, feeling the tension mount in the small store. Slowly, I turned around to see a slim guy in his late twenties. He wore dirty jeans, a brown flannel shirt and long scraggly brown hair. And his most important accessory: in his right hand he held a gun.

An older man with a wife and a young daughter crouched behind a row of Campbell's Soups. A boy our age stood frozen, mouth agape.

_Of all the days, of all the places…we would have had to come here._

Stamping toward the cash register, he roughly shoved me aside. Shakes grabbed my arm and pulled me back. Feeling my eyes on him, the guy snapped, "What are you looking at?"

Briefly, I flashed back to what I had said to Trevor: _Not much._

Shakes, seeming to read my mind, tightened his grip on my bicep and pulled us further back. "Shut. Up."

The robber - Slim - smiled slyly as the clerk, a woman, fumbled with her cash register. Her glasses slipped to her nose and she was shaking as she punched buttons. "It's coming. It's coming," she chattered nervously.

"Darlin', darlin'," Slim drawled. "I probably _should_ ask for the money, but it would be more fun to do this." He put the muzzle to her face and pulled the trigger.

Her scream never had a chance.

Brain matter and blood sprayed the counter as Shakes and I stumbled backwards in horror. "Holy shit," Shakes whispered.

The woman and her daughter whimpered in the corner of the room as the husband put his arm around them protectively. Aghast, my hands flew to my mouth, as I stood there wide-eyed. Shoot, I had seen violence before. If you wanted a front row seat, all you needed was a ticket to Vietnam. However, this was…evil. Cold blooded.

"Get down! All of youse!" Slim screamed flinging the gun in our direction.

_How did we get into this mess…oh wait…_I thought remembering… "I'm going to kill Two-Bit," I told Shakes grimly as we crouched on the ground.

The guy laughed maniacally and paced the floor. His black boots sank into the puddle of red syrup and he nearly slipped in the mess. I shut my eyes briefly; it was the image of blood. "Who did this?" he asked the room with angry amusement. "Who spilled this mess?"

The room was eerily silent. No one breathed; no one wanted to speak. Slim turned to Shakes. "Was it you, you little shit?" I tensed beside my friend. Shakes eyes flashed anger but as he had reminded me earlier, he kept his mouth shut.

Slim chuckled and suddenly lowered the gun down to Shakes's forehead. The muzzle pressed against it. "I really don't like liars," Slim stated. Shakes's wide eyes met my own.

"Oh god, don't-" I yelled but was cut off by Slim pistol-whipping Shakes across the face with the gun. Shakes's head jerked back from the impact of the steel, a raw, red mark on his left cheek.

"That," Slim began, "was just a warm-up." He cocked the gun again.

Before I could stop myself I blurted, "I did it!"

Shakes pale face jerked up, his eyes shooting me daggers. "Ponyboy, please stop talking."

"Hmm," Slim said forgetting about Shakes and walking over to me. He scrutinized me closely and brushed the stubble on his chin with his free hand. "Interesting. A hero in our midst."

My mouth wouldn't quit. "Lucky you," I muttered absently, trying to formulate a plan in my reeling mind. Shakes took a sharp intake of breath and bowed his head.

Slim's eyes narrowed and stared down at me. "But heroes have such a short life expectancy. Didn't you know that?"

I clasped my eyes shut as I felt the cool muzzle of the trigger brush my forehead. I prayed Darry and Sodapop would forgive me when they heard that the cause of my death was my own smart-ass mouth. I could see the headline now: _Local Greaser literally talks self to death_

"Leave the kids alone," a loud voice boomed. Tentatively I forced my eyes open to see the older man standing up. His wife and daughter began to cry. "Buddy, just take the cash and leave. There's a back door to this joint."

_Sit down, sit down, sit down_, I chanted, my heart in my throat.

"Well. I rest my case." Slim cocked his head, smiled wolfishly and shot the man in the stomach. Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup sprayed everywhere and the man fell back into the mess, gripping his stomach in pain.

"Kevin!" his wife shrieked, clutching at her daughter.

"What the hell?" I screamed at Slim, my voice cracking. Unconsciously, my hands crept down to my stomach where I had my own bullet scar. Slim, not hearing me, pulled a pack of smokes from his back pocket and lit one up.

Furious, I tried to leap up but Shakes grabbed my arm, hard, when he saw my eyes dart from where I was to where the man lay moaning. "Don't you even dare," he hissed.

"He'll die."

Shakes winced but held my arm firm. "Yeah. I'd say we've had some close calls today too."

Ignoring him, I wrenched myself away from Shake's vice-like grip. I had to help the guy; he had stepped in for me. On hands and knees I scooted swiftly over to the moaning man and threw my hands on top of the wound. I was thankful I knew most basic med skills from the army: staunch the blood."Why'd you do that?" I whispered to Kevin, nausea churning inside of my icy stomach. But something else was there, pushing the fear away. Anger.

"Why not?" he replied weakly. "I'm a man of action." He grinned at me, blood on his lips.

"I hate to break up this charming scenario," Slim snapped, tapping my shoulder casually with his gun. "But get your ass back over there."

Kevin would die if I left. I kept my eyes firmly away from his wife and child, unable to bear their stares. "No." Shakes already pale face turned even whiter.

"I'm sorry. I don't think I heard you correctly," Slim said almost jovially.

"You're right. You didn't. No _and_ go screw yourself." I met his eyes stubbornly, my voice even.

"Ponyboy!" Shakes snapped. "Don't be an asshole." Glancing at Shakes, I saw he was close to crying. All I could do was smile apologetically at him and keep my hands on Kevin's stomach. My hands were covered in his blood, the slick wetness moving between my fingers. The blossoming wound was spreading underneath his back on the grimy tile, blood running into the knees of my jeans, soaking through.

Slim whipped the gun out and held it against my forehead. Only this time Slim's hand wasn't so steady. The gun shook in his grip. _Good. I had unnerved him_. Then, Slim whipped the gun away from me and fired two angry shots at the checkout counter. Darry's chocolate milk exploded, milky droplets showering the room.

_Metallic…_

"Fine. Stay with the corpse." Slim nudged Kevin's foot with his toe and began to pace the room. "But keep talking kid," Slim told me, his face clouding over. "You may soon be joining him."

And from the look in his eyes, I didn't doubt him.

XXXX

Alrighty…let me know what you all thought. I tried to not make it too cheesy….so…hoped you enjoyed! Leave reviews, ramblings and crazy mutterings! ;)

Also. P.S. Pardon the plural mistakes on Shakes's name...it just confuses me! ;) Too many 'S's


	10. Chapter 10

Another update here...although it is short (just a warning). But the next one will be long. So enjoy and thanks for the reviews!! Leave more please!

XXXX

Darry's POV

"Do you want to do something tonight?" I asked Dana over the phone.

"Darrel. I have work. Besides it sounds like you're having fun without me," she pouted. Slapping my palm silently on my dresser I wished I could block out Dana and the noises coming through my bedroom door.

In the living room, the boys were trying to fix the coffee table that Two-Bit had just fell on. He had tripped over his own feet and ended up crashing down on the rickety old table.

And he wasn't even drunk. Imagine that.

"Two-Bit! Watch that hammer," Steve yelled.

I sighed and rubbed my temples, jerking the phone cord more and more into my bedroom. These days putting up with the antics of Two-Bit and Sodapop were beginning to sound like paradise compared to going out on a date with Dana. _God, I need a new relationship._ "Dana, I really don't need this from you," I growled into the receiver.

"What is that supposed to mean?" she hissed.

The room grew louder as someone un-muted the TV. As Dana's upset words flew at me, I cracked my door open. "Soda, would you turn that down? I'm on the phone."

"Oh no. Oh nonononono," Soda murmured. Then he erupted, "Darry!" His voice had an edge to it I didn't like. In fact the entire room had gone silent.

"Dana. I'll have to call you back," I sighed, hanging up on her protest. "Soda," I called out, "if this involves a head wound or any other kind of bleeding you're taking yourself to the hospital." Yet, I shook my head as I walked into the living room, knowing I'd never follow through on my threat.

Instead of a witty rebuttal, my brother was crouched in front of the TV set. "What's wrong Sodapop?"

Steve spoke instead. "Darry, where would have Ponyboy went for the groceries?"

I rubbed my head in exasperation. "The closest place is Granger's…but he might have gone to Sonny's Shop. Why does it matter?"

Gesturing to the TV, Steve grimaced. "It might matter a whole lot."

On the TV a 'special report' was running about a standoff in a convenience store. My eyes widened as I recognized it was Granger's, a few miles from our house.

"You don't think-?" Two-Bit began.

"Don't jump to conclusions," I said steadily, aware that I was holding my breath.

On TV a harried-looking older man, spoke breathlessly: "The scene here at Granger's is dire to say the least. Witnesses report four gunshots being fired within a span of fifteen minutes. Clues to the culprit and hostages are unavailable at the moment. But stay with us as we bring you more on this latest development." The newscaster flashed a cheesy grin and said, "Back to you John."

The camera swiveled to give us a long shot of the parking lot. "There!" Soda exclaimed, snapping his fingers and jumping up. "It's Shakes's car." We all saw the blue Chevy Impala parked haphazardly across three parking spaces.

"Who taught that kid to drive?" Steve murmured absently to himself.

"Aw, shit." Two-Bit shuffled his feet and stared at the floor.

Soda pushed past a frozen Two-Bit, his shoes already in his hands and a fierce frown on his face. "We gotta get down there…goddammit. Goddammit!" Soda winced and suddenly pounded outside, the door rattling behind him.

"You two," I said turning to Steve and Two-Bit, trying to collect my thoughts, "why don't you stay here and-"

Two-Bit shook his head, already playing the blame game with himself. "Like hell I will." He followed Sodapop out.

"C'mon," Steve laughed caustically. "You honestly expect us to sit here and twiddle our thumbs? Maybe play a few rounds of cards?"

Not in the mood for sarcasm, I ran an impatient hand down my chin.

"Steve, cut the-"

"Darry, I can be pretty useful in these situations."

I paused, relenting. He had a good point; at least I wouldn't be the only one trying to keep Sodapop and Two-Bit sane. I was having a hard enough time managing myself at the moment. Nodding towards the door, I dug my car keys out of my pocket with sweaty palms. "Fine. Let's go."

XXXX

The store was cut off by yellow police tape. Reporters and pedestrians milled around the scene as police officers spoke off to the side. Before I could park the truck, Soda was out and moving. Steve followed him quickly, bolting up alongside his friend and placing a hand on his shoulder to slow him down.

An older cop raised his eyebrow as the four of us approached him. "Whoa, whoa fellas. This isn't a sideshow," he said, taking in our appearance. He held out a hand to stop us from going any further.

"I wouldn't expect it to be," I replied rationally, but my hands instantly balled into fists. I prayed I would make it through the day without decking anyone. "My brother's in there. And I want to know what the hell you're doing to get him out."

The older cop took his time evaluating us. "I'm Captain Barker," he said slowly. "Right now all we can do is wait. We want to try and get them out of there with the fewest casualties possible."

A younger officer looked up from his clipboard. "Hostage situations can be a bitch."

"Thanks for the newsflash," Two-Bit snapped, eyeing the kid angrily.

"Officer Malloy," Captain Barker said, "I'd suggest you keep the witticisms to yourself. Especially since I haven't had my coffee yet. "

"Sorry Cap," he mumbled and slunk off as his radio shouted an update.

I started again. They weren't telling me anything. "Sir-"

Barker cut me off by raising his hand in that same _stop_ gesture. He checked his watch and looked at me, annoyance suddenly spread across his face. "Sorry kids. I don't know much more to tell you. You're just gonna be in the way here. Go home and-"

Soda spoke up, his voice calm and even. "We are not going anywhere."

I checked my brother's face. It was unreadable: frozen and placid. But something told me a calm Sodapop was more dangerous than a panicked one. It meant he was thinking. About what I didn't know.

"Well, it'll get settled today." Barker told Sodapop. "One way or the other."

XXXX

Next chapter on it's way soon!


	11. Chapter 11

New chapter! Please read and review! Thanks and sorry for the delay! 

XXXX

"Well its been building up inside of me

For oh I don't know how long

I don't know why

But I keep thinking

Something's bound to go wrong"

-The Beach Boys

XXXX

Ponyboy's POV

It was down to the wire.

A few weak strains of the Beach Boy's "Don't Worry Baby" drifted over the tinny radio that had fallen off the counter when Slim had gunned down the cashier. _Easy for them to say,_ I thought, _they aren't the ones stuck in here_.

I was still sitting with Kevin, my hands firmly glued to his stomach. He was trying to be strong for his wife and daughter but he was getting quieter, a bit slower. He didn't have long to go…

Still, I refused to move. But I knew that sooner or later, one way or the other, Slim would move me.

Slim, lounging against the wall, trailed his gun on me. Every so often it veered off towards Shakes. Plainly put, Slim didn't like me and he was getting impatient. "You know kids," he drawled, "the fuzz is out there. Just waiting for me to make a mistake." He scratched his head with the barrel of the gun.

Shakes rolled his eyes: _What an idiot_.

Slim continued, "You really think they'll help you?" he scoffed, looking me squarely in the eyes.

"Not really," I said honestly. The fuzz had never done us Greasers any favors. I still hadn't forgiven them for Dally.

Slim blinked at that, taken aback. Then he frowned. "I really hate smart asses."

I bit my lip and looked down at the tiled floor, my face burning in anger. Slim's legs settled in front of me and he nudged Kevin with his foot. Kevin groaned and my head jerked back up. Slim took one last draw on his smoke and blew down into my face. Then he tossed the butt aside.

"You know, this has been fun. Not as fun as what I did last week but that's another story. But this is definitely in the top five – and I've done a lot in my years. Let me tell you. It's something to be proud of. It really is. Kid, when you're stuck between a rock and a hard place, I mean shit, you've just gotta do something," he babbled.

Shakes exhaled quietly and shook his head.

Slim laughed, a horrible guttural sound filling the room. As he fumbled the gun between his hands, I watched it warily; Slim didn't seem to be the most cautious person when it came to handling firearms. Suddenly Slim stopped, his laugh cutting off abruptly. "But I'm getting bored." Then, with a flourish had the gun in his right hand and was pointing it at my head.

"Be cool," Shakes whispered, whether it was meant for him or me I couldn't be sure.

"It ain't easy," I told him, trying to smile.

"Can the small talk," Slim snapped, annoyed Shakes and I were still trying to joke with each other in this dire moment.

_Shoot, for me it was the only way to stay sane. _

"If I were you I'd be praying this isn't the last thing you see before you meet your maker."

Oddly enough, an image of Dally Winston flashed before my eyes.

"Will I be?" Slim goaded me, "will I be the last thing you see?"

_Not quite…_

Suddenly, I remembered my dream from the other night. It hit me like a bucketful of ice water. Johnny telling me to remember what I had learned in another place…something they hadn't taught me…something someone else had.

My mind tried to think fast. Caplan. He had pushed me through hour-long runs, weapon training and some military combat. More importantly he had taught me about ground striking. Usually Crocker and Shep got the better of me in practice, but this time it was my turn.

In the span of a few measly seconds I had an internal fight with myself: Darry yelling at me to think, to use my head and not do anything rash. Me saying to myself that I'd better use my head and do something.

Hell, if I was going to die, it might as well be my fault. I wasn't waiting around for Slim to make the call.

"Are you ready to go?" Slim cocked the gun.

"Not quite." I said before I jerked and dived for Slims's legs, throwing him off-balance. We fell backwards and landed with a thud on the hard tile.

"You little asshole," Slim yelled, trying to shove the gun in my stomach.

God, I hope his finger doesn't find that trigger 

"Oh shit!" Shakes exclaimed, realizing what had happened and scrabbling over to us.

On top of Slim, I punched him in the face and tried to knock the gun out of his hand. Slims foot found an approaching Shakes, his hard boot smacking Shakes in the stomach. My friend doubled over, coughing, the wind knocked out of him. Slim wasn't going down without a fight.

I smirked to myself; Darry had actually done me a favor letting me participate in all those rumbles. Swiftly Slim head butted me, stars dancing through my vision, my head throbbing.

_I'd thank my older brother later_, I thought, groaning in pain I fought to keep my bearings.

Finding a better grip on the gun, Slim jabbed the gun into my side. He grinned at me. "Gotcha," he whispered, firing the gun. My eyes widened in shock and I flinched for the impact of the bullet, but the gun had slipped past my side, held fast between my ribs and elbow. The bullet whizzed past me, striking the ceiling. Pieces of plaster fell to the ground around us.

Taking advantage of Slims surprise, I twisted and knocked the gun away from him. I threw my left forearm onto his windpipe, grabbed his shoulder with my right hand and wrenched him hard, smacking his head against the ground. I did it once, twice and then-

"Ponyboy!" Shakes shouted, gently pushing me off a stunned Slim. "Stop it. Stop it! I'm not going to let you go to jail for murdering this SOB. He's not worth it." Shakes and I stared at each for a few silent, crazed moments and then the remaining people flew out of the gas station; Mrs. Reynolds screaming for an ambulance.

Seeing the cops running toward us, I jumped up and grabbed Shakes's sleeve. "C'mon," I said and hastily walked through the spilled soup and blood, through the stacks of groceries and out the back door.

I needed a moment of peace before I had to deal with everything.

"See," I told Shakes, "Kevin was right. There is a back door to this place."

"Holy shit, man," Shakes breathed. We listened to the murmur of the crowd and sighed, knowing we'd have to face them sooner or later. As we began to walk to the front of the store, Shakes stopped me. Awed he asked, "Pone, where'd you learn to do that?"

I rubbed my head. I could still feel the coolness of the barrel. "Do what?"

Shakes's eyes narrowed curiously. "The takedown. The whole choke hold thing. That was pretty bad ass."

Quickly I came up with: "You know, just part of my army training."

My stomach was icy as I tried to joke nonchalantly. Yet, this apparently worked because Shakes rolled his eyes and shrugged. "Fine. Don't tell me." Then he lowered his voice. "Well whatever it was, I'm just glad it worked."

"You're not kidding," I told him slowly as we walked out of the shadow of the building into the bright sunlight. I winced against the brightness and evaluated the busy parking lot. Cops and reporters were at the scene, as well as an ambulance. Mrs. Reynolds and her daughter were speaking with the paramedics.

I stopped; the weight of the afternoon catching up with me as I saw the paramedics roll out Kevin Reynolds. _I got him shot I got him shot _ran through my mind.

Frowning, Shakes shook his head, noticing where my gaze was directed. "Hey man, it's not your fault. If he wouldn't have…besides he'll be fine. You helped him as much as you could. More than anyone would have probably." Shakes paused, thought about something and then his easy-going face turned angry.

"Actually, I should brain you for that." He reached out and yanked my arm hard. "Christ, what were you thinkin'? Picking a fight with him?" Shakes voice rose an octave higher and I flinched; a headache was beginning to brew. My head pounded even harder as I saw Darry and Soda.

_How in the hell did they already know…?_

Soda mouthed something animatedly to Darry and pointed at me. Darry whipped around and then they both began fighting their way through the crowd. Then I noticed Mrs. Reynolds pointing me out to a police officer. The cop took his hat off and scratched his head.

At that moment, I just wanted to disappear.

My attention was turned back to Shakes as he yelled at me angrily. "Goddamn you Ponyboy. I mean, what _were_ you thinkin' pissin' that guy off like that? Don't get me wrong- I am happy as hell to be out of there, but if it had ended up any other way…"

Darry and Soda forgotten, I just stared at Shakes. "What do you want me to say?"

He sighed and ran his hands through his sweaty hair. "Nothing. But I can tell you that if you _had_ eaten that bullet _I_ wouldn't be the one pickin' your brain bits out of the ceiling."

Darry and Soda approached in time to hear that choice comment. My brothers blanched, skidding to a halt. Darry looked like he needed to sit down. Soda grabbed my arm, pulling me into a hug. "C'mere."

When Soda saw fit to release me, Darry didn't hug me. Instead, he put his strong hands on my shoulders and asked, "Are you alright?"

"Sure."

Darry looked at me doubtfully. Then I glanced down at my clothes. My hands and the knees of my jeans were covered in blood. I could feel the knot welling up on my forehead where Slim had head butted me.

"Oh, these old things," I joked lamely, gesturing at my clothes.

Darry's eyes narrowed and he turned to Shakes. "Shakes, are you alright?"

"Sure," he replied. "We both are."

"Ok then," Darry said, his eyes still on Shakes. "We called your mom. She's over with Captain Barker."

Grateful, Shakes nodded. "Thanks Darry." Then he faced to me. "Next time, Two-Bit gets his own damn beer."

XXXX

"Are you hurt?" the paramedic asked.

"No," I mumbled, pushing him away. Soda and Darry had practically forced me over to the ambulance. I sat on the inside of the ambulance, legs hanging over the bumper. Soda paced back and forth as Darry stood off to the side, speaking to police officers and keeping the press away.

"Let them look you over anyways, Pone," Soda said quietly, his eyes following my every move.

"It's always a good idea. You could be in delayed shock." The medic put in.

"Been there, done that," I intoned. But I gave up the fight. It wasn't worth it. "Fine. Relax Soda," I told my hovering brother. He shot me a grin, but I could tell his heart wasn't in it.

I hadn't spoken to Steve or Two-Bit yet. They were hanging off to the side, playing a quiet game of poker on the hood of Darry's truck. Although, every once in a while I'd look up and catch Two-Bit staring at me guiltily.

The medic, his nametag said Ben, stood next to me. "Hand me that kit, will ya Sarah?" he called out to another medic. Placing a stethoscope on my chest, he held my wrist, checking my pulse.

"That man," I asked softly, "Mr. Reynolds, is he going to be ok?"

"I wouldn't worry about that now," he said to me.

I frowned. "You know, when people won't give you a direct answer, it's usually bad news."

"Pony…" Soda began.

"Breathe," Ben commanded.

I took a deep breath and then Ben sighed. "We're doing our best for him." Then he quieted and went through his typical routine, shining a light in my eyes. He tilted my head, examined my face and whistled. "Golly, that guy sure did a number on you." He raised and eyebrow. "Hopefully you returned the favor."

I laughed half-heartedly. "I did my best." Soda coughed, reminding the medic to can the small talk and do his job.

"Luckily there are no contusions. But if you start seeing spots or having headaches get yourself to a doctor." Ben glanced down at my bloody hands. "That yours?"

"No."

Then Ben leaned back and looked at me curiously. "Why'd you do it? You could've been killed." His jaw hard, Soda turned away from us and moved behind the ambulance. Soda couldn't hear about it right now but I knew he'd want to later.

I lowered my voice, watching my brother out of the corner of my eye. "I couldn't not do anything. It felt…wrong."

_Besides, I only agitated Slim so much that he shot someone else out of spite._ _It's all my fault. Igothimshot igothimshot Igothimshot Igothimshot Igothimshot_

Taking a deep breath I tried to calm myself, but I knew my hands were shaking.

Ben smiled slightly and patted my shoulder. "It'll work itself out kid." Then he groaned, cocking his head to take a look at the mess of people behind him. "You can get up when you're ready. I gotta take care of this guy."

The guy was Slim. Hands cuffed behind his back, he was being led out by two cops. I watched silently, suddenly smelling his cigarette smoke on my clothes. I felt nauseous. "Is that him?" someone asked me.

"Yeah," I replied absentmindedly.

A quick blur passed me and I started, realizing that blur to be Sodapop. Determined, he marched over to Slim, his long legs crossing the pavement quickly.

"Soda, no…" I hurried after him, catching Steve's eye. Steve jumped off the hood of the truck and we both tried to cut Soda off. He didn't need to get tossed in the slammer too today.

Soda approached Slim. He leaned down and breathed, "You're a lucky man." Soda's words were calm but even five feet away I heard the deadly edge to them.

And that was all Soda said. He turned around, the same way he had come, and caught me coming up after him. Soda threw an arm around me as Steve fell into step with us. "Let's get you home."

XXXX

Ok-this is a long chapter so no complaining this time! ;) Any thoughts as to what you want to happen next?? Cheerio!


	12. Chapter 12

Alrighty…pardon any typos, it's late. Also this was extremely agonizing to write having to get the explaining out without trying to be too melodramatic. Let me know what you all think. Sigh

P.s. Thanks to Alleycat for the lovely inspiration! ;)

XXXX

"I've been baking cakes for the enemy

i've been dying to find out the hard way

ive been taking friends to the alleyway

two down now but who's counting anyway?"

-The Dresden Dolls

XXXX

Ponyboy's POV

"Pone, let's go inside."

Someone was speaking to me, but instead I chose to focus on the intense sunlight that was dilating my pupils.

_Glory it sure was bright._ _How long ago did I leave the house?_ I squinted, trying to remember. I could have sworn it should have been turning dark by now instead of being only three in the afternoon.

"Pone. Pone?" A hand reached out and gently shook my shoulder.

"Oh," I said blinking away the daze, "Sorry Darry."

"It's fine, Ponyboy. Just come inside." Darry opened the passenger door for me. He and Sodapop were standing outside already. I blinked again in surprise, suddenly realizing that I had zoned out the entire ride home. I didn't even remember pulling into our driveway.

Two-Bit said something in a low voice to Steve, who was standing by Sodapop. Steve nodded uncomfortably. Suddenly, I was dreading the inside of my house, the place where I always had explaining to do.

Slowly, I slid out of my seat and trekked up to the house. I badly wanted Two-Bit to crack a joke. For Steve to shoot his mouth off.

Something. Anything to feel normal.

As I was ushered up the steps, my palms began sweating and again I resisted the urge to run very far away.

The door shut behind me and I was inside, vaguely aware of my surroundings. I felt dreamy…odd. Then, I darted for the kitchen, filling up a glass with water and gulping it down. My mouth was so dry I didn't think I could speak, my stomach churning.

"Soda, stay there," I commanded my brother, who was nearly in the kitchen. "Give me a minute, will you?"

He gave me a small, sad smile and joined everyone in the living room.

Frozen, I stood there, my arms clutching the side of the sink as if I were hanging on for my life. I was coming down from the roller coaster realization that I had nearly been shot by an unstable gunman. Instead, what was beginning to get to me was the fact that I could have killed Slim.

Hell, I _wanted_ to kill him.

I was no different than he was. Shaking, I hung my head, trying to breathe steadily.

Was this how I was going to turn out? After everything I had gone through, the progress I had thought I had made. It was as if all the anger of the past few years that I had been holding back erupted out of me today.

Clamping my eyes shut against the thought, I darted out of the kitchen and ran into Two-Bit. "Slow down, kiddo," he said as if I couldn't understand him.

"Sorry," I mumbled dumbly, "I forgot your beer."

Two-Bit's face fell. "Don't worry about that now."

"I gotta go," I said, heading for my bedroom.

"Whoa, whoa, not so fast." Soda caught my arm. "Pone, will you talk to us? What happened in there?"

I gave him a pained look. "Do I have to?" Sodapop faltered for a second, dropping my arm.

Darry took up for him. "Yes. You do."

"Darry, I can't. I just really can't right now."

In that same stern voice he said, "I understand it's hard but you need to." He moved closer and said in a low voice that only I could hear, "We should have talked first thing when you came back from 'Nam. But we didn't. I put it off. And it took you a long time to get back to normal."

"Darry, that wasn't your fault," I snapped before jerking away from him. "This isn't a band-aid that you can just rip off and it'll all feel better. It's shit."

"Darry…maybe we should let him-" Two-Bit began. Steve stared at the floor and groaned at Two-Bit's dangerous decision to contradict Superman.

"Shut up, Two-Bit," Darry spat. Resigned, Two-Bit snapped his mouth shut.

I threw my arms up. Game over No one would leave me alone if I didn't talk.

"Fine Darry. You want to know what happened?" I said, my voice rising slightly. "I practically had the ass-end of a gun shoved down my throat twice today. And because I couldn't shut my trap, some poor man took the bullet for me." I swiped at my eyes angrily, the weight of the day, my life settling on my shoulders. "Darry, Soda, everyone keeps taking my place. When's it gonna be me? I can't stand it anymore."

Two-Bit and Sodapop winced in unison. "Oh, kid…" was all Two-Bit could say. Darry covered his mouth, his eyes grim.

I began pacing, feeling my face heat up in anger. "I got us out of there. But I nearly killed Slim. I couldn't stop hitting him and finally Shakes had to snap me out of it."

Darry blinked, his face pale. "Who?"

I blinked too, hating the fact that I was referring to this guy as if I were his closest friend.

"The robber. I tackled him; he was going to shoot me." The words spewed out of me, ricocheting across the living room. "I wanted to kill him. It almost felt normal to do it…like I was back there…glory, I can't _believe_ I'm back there…"

My brothers fell silent, not expecting this part. I could see Darry grappling for something to say. Then Soda spoke up, his voice pleading. "Ponyboy, it was a stressful situation. You did what you had to do."

"That's not the point Soda," I moaned, "I _wanted_ to do it."

Steve, who hadn't said a word since we entered the house, spoke up. "Ponyboy, for Christ's sake, go easy on yourself."

I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror hanging over the mantle. I barely recognized myself anymore. "Damn it!" I exploded, quickly banging the wall with my fists. I ran a hand through my hair. "I don't know what I'm doing."

Wide-eyed Soda stared at me. He didn't know what to make of it. They all didn't.

Soda took a step toward me. "Pone, you don't look too good."

I cut him off before he could say anything else. "I really gotta go. I'm sorry. I really do." Then I grabbed the keys to Darry's truck and did what I had wanted to do all day.

I ran away.

XXXX

"Aren't you supposed to be at home?"

"I take it you've heard the news."

Caplan raised an eyebrow. "Sure, I heard it. But you're pretty much wearing it too." He held the door open and I stepped into his apartment.

"How're you holding up Curtis?" he asked, patting my shoulder as I sank into a chair.

"I don't know." Nervously, I rubbed my hands on my jeans.

Caplan settled down into his chair and scratched his beard. "You never told me." He gestured to the muted TV where my picture was plastered under the caption "17 year old hero".

I looked up at him in surprise. "You know I'm only 17."

"Not that. The other part. The part about your friends. The two that died."

"Oh."

Caplan chuckled. "You know, now that I know about this I'd a thought you'd have a lot more problems over in 'Nam." Caplan turned serious. "What happened today, son?"

"I almost killed that robber. You're wrong, I do have problems. I thought I could be something I'm not. I thought I'd turn out…"

…_gold_

After a moment of silence, Caplan raised his hand. "You carried a gun in 'Nam right? With the intent to kill?"

In spite of myself I laughed. "Well, it wasn't just for looks."

He grinned at me and I saw what he was getting at.

"Sarge, this was different. Over there I did what I had to do. I wasn't angry with anyone…I just did my job. But with Slim," I winced at the nickname I had given him, "I was so angry, I couldn't stop."

"Curtis, it's basic survival instinct. Don't apologize. I'm sure your brothers wouldn't be getting an apology from this guy had he finished his job."

"I'm supposed to be different!" I exclaimed. "I'm not him."

"Ponyboy, there's not a concrete line between good and bad. The difference between you and this guy is that you understand when you go too far and cross it."

"I thought I did." I said slowly, staring at my red hands.

"Hey," Caplan said sharply. I looked up. "You did the right thing. If it takes you a while to work through that than you damn well do it." Then, he looked pointedly at the TV where Johnny and Dally's pictures were now being shown. "But you can't live in the past. If you won't let it go, how can you change?"

XXXX

Please leave reviews!


	13. Chapter 13

Another update? And so soon? Why, yes it is! Enjoy and please leave reviews!

This may be winding down soon…although I am not so sure…what about you kids?

XXXX

XXXX

Ponyboy's POV

Apparently, while I had been at Caplan's Darry and Sodapop had scrounged up Shakes and got him to talk to them in words that weren't gibberish.

I saw the glow of my friend's smoke as I pulled Darry's truck into the driveway. After Caplan's I had driven around town for a while thinking about what my Sarge had said.

It was beginning to sink in. Deep down I knew he was right. I had to give up the ghosts.

Finally, I had decided to go home after being so deep in thought I had nearly plowed Darry's truck into an oncoming car.

That would have really topped off the night.

"God, explaining yourself can be a bitch." Shakes greeted me as I hopped out and met him on the porch.

"Sorry about that," I apologized, half-grinning. Then the smile slid off my face. "You didn't exaggerate too much or anything did you?" God, the last thing I needed was Shakes freaking out Darry and Soda any more.

"Pone, I don't think there was any real room for exaggeration, do you?" He tossed me the pack of smokes and I promptly lit one up.

"You're right," I conceded. "Well, Shakes, I apologize on behalf of my brothers for the interrogation." I shot him a smile.

He laughed at me. "You're lucky I was here to calm them down. Soda was off his rocker, worrying about you. I finally told them to relax and I'd play the sentry. Where'd go anyways?"

"Nowhere," I lied. "Just drove around."

"Yeah, my mom didn't want to let me out of the house either," he murmured.

I rubbed my forehead, wishing I had some aspirin. "How are you doing?"

"I don't know, man. It feels surreal. Although, I am expecting some pretty gruesome dreams tonight." He glanced at me and tossed his cigarette stub in the grass. We both watched the light fade out. "How did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Have those dreams every night after your friends died?"

Gritting my jaw, I flicked my lighter. Shakes knew the story about everything that had went down in the past. Everything except 'Nam.

"I still have them," I said grimly.

Shakes sat up straighter and squinted at me in the darkness. "Really? They came back?"

_Like a lightning bolt._

Ignoring him, I nodded at the house. It was dark. "Think they're asleep?"

Shakes shrugged. "Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee left a few hours ago. Your brothers probably went to bed by now. But I guarantee you they'll be up the second you walk in."

"Here," Shakes stood up and slapped something in my hand. Turning it over I saw it was a bottle of aspirin. "I snatched these from my mom. Figured I wouldn't let you hunt all over the house for the ones Darry hid."

I raised my eyebrows in amusement. "So, you're my drug dealer now?"

"I do what I can." Shakes smirked and then paused at the bottom of the porch. "You know Ponyboy, we've really been in some shitty messes. So…who brings the bad luck: me or you?"

"Take my word for it Shakes," I sighed. "It's me."

XXXX

I slunk into the house, bypassing the light switch and heading straight for the bathroom. I badly needed to shower, throw my clothes away.

The table lamp flicked on and Soda was sitting on the couch. He didn't look happy. He had taken on too many punches tonight. His brown eyes stood against his wan face.

I tried to smile at him. "Hey Sodapop. You like sittin' in the dark just for kicks?"

"Yeah, it's real fun waiting up and wondering whether or not your brother will come home tonight."

My eyes searched the shadowy house. "Where's Darry?"

"On the phone with Dana." Soda sighed and shut his eyes. When he opened them he said slowly, "Don't _ever_ do that to me again."

At my blank stare he continued, "Leave. Like that."

The blood drained from my face and I stared at the floor. "I'm real sorry, Soda."

XXXX

Slim's prediction that his face would be the last thing I would see before I died actually came true when I was alive too.

_"Will I be? Will I be the last thing you see?" _

I washed my face with trembling hands, wishing that my latest nightmare could be washed down the drain as well.

In the kitchen I could smell Soda's bacon. A whiff of fried pork, cinnamon and chocolate syrup. He always came up with the craziest food. But what was even crazier was that we actually ate it.

Darry was yelling at Steve for something and in the background I could hear Two-Bit cackling with laughter. I smiled to myself; hoping I would soon be on the track to normality.

As I stepped out of the bathroom and made my way into the kitchen the phone rang. Darry stopped mid-yell and caught my eyes with a stricken expression. The phone had been ringing ever since I got home from the gas station three days ago.

The calls were mostly from the press, but a few neighborly Socs also had some pretty unpleasant things to say to me.

"We should take that off the hook," Darry told me as we all watched it ring.

"Yeah, we're all here," Soda put in. "Who're we really gonna miss?"

"Oh, I don't know. The pope? Your fairy godmother?" Two-Bit offered, gulping down a Coke. Oddly enough, ever since he had sent me on his little beer run he had avoided it like the plague.

The phone kept ringing. "Well, it can't be the state," I told my brothers. "Screw it. I'm getting it."

Soda set the spatula down. "Pone…"

I snatched up the receiver before they could intercept. "Hello?" I asked, my eyes watching Soda and Darry's intent faces.

A woman cleared her throat. "Ponyboy Curtis, please."

"This is him."

"Ponyboy…" the voice was halting, " I know it's early…this is…Beth Reynolds…Kevin's wife…" My eyes flew open. "…I got your number from the police department-"

"Ma'am, I…I am so sorry…" I flinched, readying myself for an angry tirade.

She cut me off. "I wanted to thank you. For what you did." I gripped the phone tighter, not believing my ears.

"What?" My voice was hollow.

Darry, thinking it was another angry nut, snapped his fingers and held out his hand.

I shook my head briefly. I had overheard him yesterday speaking with someone; Darry, who usually kept a cool head, had cursed up a storm that would have made Dally proud.

"Kevin is in ICU," she said tearfully, "but he's getting better by the day. Will you come down and see him? I'd like it and I know he would. I need to thank you in person."

"What?" I repeated.

"I didn't know the kid was dumb _and_ deaf," Steve joked to Two-Bit, but that got him a swat on the head from Darry.

"Will you come down to visit him? Please?"

"Sure, of course," I nodded vacantly.

"Great." I could hear her smile. "Visiting hours are 11 to 5. Come by anytime today." She hung up before I could say goodbye.

XXXX

The white halls of the hospital were too familiar as I followed the signs to Room 304. Soda and Darry had offered to come with me, but I needed to do this by myself.

I reached the door and Beth Reynolds greeted me. She was a short, thin woman, with a blonde bob and happy eyes, despite the circumstances. She was more Soc than Greaser but what did it matter anymore.

"Hi Ponyboy," she chirped and shook my hand warmly. Beth looked down at the blonde haired little girl next to her. "This is Shelly."

"Hello," I smiled at both of them, feeling out of place.

Shelly giggled and buried her head against her mother's legs.

Beth patted Shelly's curls and flashed me a mouthful of teeth. "Ponyboy, I don't know how I can ever thank you. _Ever_." Her eyes watered and she sniffled. "If you need anything call us. It's the least we can do."

Beth pulled me into an awkward hug. When she released me her eyes were dry. "Go on in sweetie, he's waiting for you."

Stepping in, I pulled the door shut behind me, breathing in stale air and medicinal smells. I wrinkled my nose. "Nice to see you alive," Kevin greeted me.

I laughed. "Same to you. How are you feeling?" I asked, moving closer. Tentatively, I sat into a chair near his bed.

Kevin scoffed, "I feel lousy kid. Like I got shot."

"Yeah, that'll do it to you," I smiled slightly, feeling his pain.

"But," he said, struggling to sit up straighter, "I'm not dead. Thanks to you."

"No!" I said quietly, my panicked feelings suddenly rushing up on me. "_I'm_ not dead thanks to you. If I hadn't gone and shot my mouth off-"

Kevin dismissed that with a wave of his hand. "I did the same thing. We're even. I got a pretty bad shot to my gut. But barring any infections I'll be out in a week or two."

Mute, I just stared at him.

Kevin's face got serious. "Ponyboy, you saved my daughter…my wife. Everyone in there. I owe you a lot." Staring at me hard, he asked, "Are you doing ok?"

I was prepared to lie, give Kevin some BS excuse but I couldn't. Shaking my head, I stared at Kevin's heart monitor. "No. But I will be."

Playing with his wedding band, Kevin sighed. "Keep your head up. I won't lie and say things'll get better tomorrow. But if you can't hold on," he looked at me pointedly, "hold on."

XXXX

I made my way down to the first floor and stopped at the pay phone to call Sodapop before I left.

"DX, this is Steve."

"Steve, put Soda on."

"What? No hello? Thanks Pone, I'm touched," he grumbled lightly. "Yo, Sodapop!"

As I waited for Soda to come on the line, I heard a guy yell from the room closest to me, "Nurse, I swear to god if you don't get out of my sight…"

"…things go? Pone…you there?"

I snapped back to my brother but the voice was ringing in my ears. It was Slim.

"Yeah, Soda. I just wanted to tell you I'm heading home."

"Ok…see you tonight," he said hesitantly, sound as if he had more to say.

"Yeah, right," I said distantly and hung up on him.

My eyes focused on Room 111 as a nurse scooted out, frowning. I was torn between just wanting to forget and meeting Slim face to face again.

I chose the latter.

My hand closed around the doorknob and I entered.

He was lying on his side, reading a comic book. The front of his chart read "Jeremy Wilcox."

"Well, lookie what we have here," his voice startled me out of my daze. He grinned maliciously and tossed his book on the ground. "A hero. Bring on the applause."

"How's jail, Jeremy?" I spat.

"Go to hell," he replied.

Evaluating him, I crossed my arms in front of my chest. "I didn't know it took three days to recover from a head wound," I said dryly.

Slim's face clouded with anger. "Son-of-a-bitch. Got knifed my first day in jail. Bet you're glad to hear that, you little shit. Met the brother of a girl I once…knew."

Wincing, I got the hidden meaning behind his words. "Why am I not surprised?"

Slim glowered at me and I suddenly felt claustrophobic. I turned to leave.

I had had enough of hospitals and flashbacks and… 

"It should be you in here," Slim announced. I could hear the laughter and the rage in his voice. "No, wait. It should be you in the _morgue_."

Whipping around, I glared at him. "Then _you_ should have fought harder. I did my job."

"You were close you know," Slim's rough voice floated toward me, his gaunt face angled up at the ceiling. "So close. I could have had you if I was just fast enough." He grinned at me. "Maybe one day…" He brought his head back down and mimed shooting me with his right hand.

I paled but my voice was firm. I steadied my shaking hands. Boy, was I getting damn good at hiding it. "No. Not one day. Never. You lost."

Slim pursed his lips and nodded slowly. "You're right. But you were lucky once. You won't be again. Someone else will win next time. And it won't be you."

Frozen, my mind churned. Then I turned on my heel and stalked up to him, close enough to smell his smoky breath. "You're right. One day I won't win. But at least I won't be left to face it all alone."

XXXX

Comments?? Thanks!


	14. Chapter 14

Warning: Short, segue way chapter…but hopefully you all can enjoy!

Don't worry it's ending soon…haha!

Please leave reviews, rants and rebuttals!

XXXX

"Today is gonna be the day

That they're gonna throw it back to you

By now you should've somehow

Realized what you gotta do

I don't believe that anybody

Feels the way I do about you now

Backbeat the word was on the street

That the fire in your heart is out

I'm sure you've heard it all before

But you never really had a doubt

I don't believe that anybody feels

The way I do about you now"

-Oasis

XXXX

Ponyboy's POV

I jerked my car alongside the curb, the right front tire rolling up on the grass, blocking the fire hydrant. At the exact same moment that I was pulling in, so was Shakes.

He rolled out of his car lazily. "Hey man."

Slamming my car door shut as hard as I could, I pounded up to the house. Shakes frowned and hurried to catch up with me. "Whoa, Pone. Where's the fire."

I smirked at him and stopped dead in my tracks. "I saw him again."

Shakes seemed puzzled. He scratched his head. "Who?"

I raised an eyebrow and waited.

It took him a moment but he got it. "Oh shit! Pone!" he nearly yelled, his eyes wide. "What'd you do? Track him down in his cell?" He lowered his voice cautiously and looked at me from the corner of his eyes. "You weren't going to finish the job were you?"

"You're an idiot," I laughed. "Geez Shakes. Give me some credit." And then I explained to him what had happened at the hospital.

"Hmm. Explains that." Shakes nodded his head at my chaotically parked car. "He didn't get to you too bad did he?"

"No," I said. "I think I got to him."

We stared at each other; each of us unsure of what to say to the other when the front door opened and Darry stepped out, Dana behind him. She flitted a wave at me and smiled sympathetically.

"Ponyboy Curtis!" Darry hollered at us as we walked up to the house. "Who taught you how to drive? Two-Bit?" Darry frowned and pointed at my truck.

I raised an eyebrow and smirked at Shakes. "Well actually he did…" Then feeling reckless, I opened my mouth wider, prepared to shout the news to Darry.

Shakes put a hand out, stopping me. "Don't man. He doesn't need the grief." Snapping my mouth shut I nodded in agreement. It was rare form when Shakes took Darry's side.

"So. You're ok?" Shakes asked in a low voice, referring to Slim.

Darry, suddenly noticing that I had returned from the hospital, lowered his voice an octave as I approached. "How was...," he hesitated, "the hospital?"

I smiled up at him. "Fine Darry. Mr. Reynolds. He's going to be ok."

The tension left Darry's shoulders and he gently clapped me on the back. "Good Ponboy. That's real good."

XXXX

A few days later the doorbell rang. I thought I would have a heart attack on the spot. It was Karen Nichols.

She stood there, looking as if she had never seen me before. "You're only 17?" was all she said.

I died right there. I couldn't say anything; my voice was gone.

"Pone?" Two-Bit queried, coming up behind me. Two-Bit, Steve and I had been busy trying to short-sheet Darry's bed. Summer boredom had occured.

Startled back into the moment, I jumped and sputtered, "Two-Bit it's nothing. Go away. Please," I added emphatically as he stared at Karen. Sidestepping Two-Bit, I left the house, drawing the door shut behind me. "We can talk here," I told her, gesturing to the porch.

"Fine." She nodded briskly and pulled some newspaper clippings from her purse. "I saw you on the news a week ago. And then I remembered where I knew you from."

There was no need for me to take the articles but I did. They were the clippings from after I had gotten back from Windrixville. Rock solid and heart-breaking proofs of the past.

Karen leaned against our door and brushed her limp brown hair from her eyes. "How could you have went to Viet-…" she amended her statement, not being able to bear the words, "…over there when you were…what 15? 16?" Her calm voice was now shrilly.

Shifting uncomfortably, I gave her back the old clippings. "Mrs. Nichols, can I just tell you…I did what I had to do?"

She wasn't a mother any more. She was a scorned, bitter woman. Karen's eyes blazed and she snorted, "Real noble."

I bit my lip and stared past her into the setting sun. It was a brilliant blood orange. I tried to imagine my mother acting like this, like a child. But I couldn't. Instead I dropped my head, wishing Soda were here to help me out.

"You're not going to tell anyone are you?" My voice was strained as my mind whirled with the possible consequences of this becoming known...

_Please?_ my mind added as a pathetic afterthought.

Karen fingered the clippings. "No," she said without conviction. "What difference would it make?" I stared at her with doubt. She still looked undecided.

Two-Bit chose that moment to peer through the blinds and make faces at me. I shook my head minutely and he popped them shut. He saw my pale face and got the point.

Stuffing the clippings back into her purse, Karen turned to leave. She made it down one step and then turned back to me, ripping out a clipping and holding it up to me. It was a picture of Bob. "You killed that boy."

I blanched. But Johnny wasn't here to take the fall; he wasn't here to defend himself. So I took it. "Yes."

"Yes. You did." She nodded, pleased with my confession. "You and your friends. You should be ashamed." Karen shook her head heatedly. "When I think that my son died over there and you little…Greaser came back fine. It-you disgust me."

"Lady," Two-Bit's furious voice floated out behind me, "get back into your Mustang. And drive away. Real fast."

Startled, Karen snapped her mouth shut and bolted for her car.

"Two-Bit," I said wearily as I watched her speed away, "you do have a way with women."

"What can I say kid? It took me a while, but I finally got my moves down pat." He stood by my side and waited. "So. What'd Super Bitch want?"

I was too exhausted to laugh. Instead, I ignored him and took a seat on the porch steps. "Hey Two-Bit, I never told you…it's fine for you to drink beer again."

Sinking down beside me, Two-Bit seemed embarrassed and sad all at the same time. "Caught on to that did you?"

I smiled at him. "Well, you don't pray, so I figured you'd stop worshipping false idols for a while in return for penance."

He grinned back at me and laughed, a coarse, hard laugh. "For once you're wrong kid. I do know how to pray." Then his gray eyes met my green ones, no eyebrows raised. "Hell, you're living proof."

We stopped looking at each other and watched the setting sun. Soon it would be night and I would dream again. I pulled out the bottle of aspirin Shakes had given me earlier and rolled it between my hands. With all the headaches I was getting I'd be a fool to leave the house without it.

"I may be in big trouble Two-Bit."

He scoffed. "You? Never."

When I didn't contradict him he added in a soft voice, "Can I do anything?"

"It's already done," I told him.

XXXX

Please leave reviews! ;)


	15. Chapter 15

Here you all are! Enjoy and please leave reviews…the last ones were so great! I will hopefully be updating again tonight if time allows. So keep reading…a few more chapters and this will be at an end!

XXXX

You know what to say, you know what I said

You know what I dream sleeping in my bed

You hold all the keys, you know all the roads

Why don't you guide me in, if I'm such a lost soul?

I'm spinnin' 'round, I will make you ill

Since I'm so broken down, why don't you fix me?

Such a shame that I wouldn't know by now

Your revelations

Cut me in, I don't wanna live without

Your revelations

I am haunted when I am sleeping

Try to give without receiving

It's in the apple bite

It's in the days and nights

In the afterlife we'll reap

-Audioslave

XXXX

Ponyboy's POV

Hearing a loud crash from the back of the house I smiled to myself and glanced up from my book just in time to see Darry freeze in the kitchen; coffee pot suspended in mid-air as he filled his mug to the brim.

"Everything ok back there?" he called out loudly. I bit my lip to keep from laughing, knowing Darry was trying his hardest thinking about what in the world my brother and Steve were doing back there and trying his damnest not to yell at them.

I set my book aside and patiently waited.

_One…two…three…_

And then BAM! Another huge crash and silence.

Darry muttered to himself and took a long sip of coffee. The doorbell rang and I slumped in my seat, remembering my last visitor. Mrs. Nichols.

Darry stared at me impatiently, unfamiliar with my current memory. "You gonna get that?"

"Might as well," I sighed. "Who knows, maybe it's the state." I said this more to myself than to my brother but his sharp ears picked it up.

"Hey," he said with a prickly edge to his voice. "Something you want to tell me?"

I turned to look at him before opening the door. "No." I swung the front door open and instantly stood up taller. "Hey Sarge," I greeted Caplan.

He shot me a brisk grin. "Curtis. How're you holding up?"

I brightened up a little; I could tell Caplan. Lowering my voice I began, "Sarge, something bad happened. Somebody knows about-"

And then Darry was there and I snapped my mouth shut. "What're you doing here?" he grumbled.

"Darry," I warned, elbowing him in the ribs. He shot me an amused look, as if my measly elbow could do him any damage and then targeted his hard stare on Caplan again.

Caplan held up textbook and ran one of his hands down his grizzly beard. "Came to give him this."

Taking a quick look at the book in his hand I saw it was entitled _World History: War, Then and Now._ I wanted to groan, wondering what on earth Caplan was thinking coming around here with that.

And then seeing the small smile on Caplan's face I understood. He was making Darry think, making him acknowledge what I had done and how Caplan fit into the picture.

Darry, between clenched teeth, said, "You shouldn't have done that."

"Nothing to it," Caplan responded easily.

"Pone, get my wallet." Darry fixed his eyes on me.

Caplan frowned, not liking my brother's new tactic. "Darrel, that's not necessary-"

Darry stuck his hands in his pocket. "Sure it is." His voice was heavy. "We'll reimburse you. Ponyboy." Darry nudged me.

I turned my face up to the ceiling, ready to spit nails. Glory. I knew Darry had his pride, but this was something else. He just plain didn't like Caplan.

And then I figured out how to get his plan to backfire on him.

"It's ok Darry. I'll pay for it. After all it's _my_ book." I shot him an innocent look and crossed the room to the couch where my wallet lay.

Darry's shoulders tensed; if you would have blinked you'd have missed it, but I knew my brother. "Ponyboy…really-"

A blur of colors took me down as Soda and Steve flew into the room. Steve dived for my legs and I went down with an _Oomph_. Soda pointed at us, cackling with laughter. "That's not the football, Stevie!"

I scowled at both of them and rubbed my head. The football lay in a corner of the room, my legs still pinned under Steve.

"Steve," Darry snapped, suddenly embarrassed by us, despite the fact that the person at our front door was Caplan, "let him up. Ponyboy's…" the words stung his tongue, but it was either that or Sergeant "…professor is here."

I jumped up but Steve, with a smug smirk on his face, still had a hold of my shoe. I leaned backwards, trying to pull myself away from him. "Steve, leggo."

Steve grinned maliciously and shrugged. "If you say so, kid."

Darry seeing what was about to happen opened his mouth but before he could say anything Steve released me just as I gave my leg a violent tug and I toppled over our coffee table.

I pulled myself back up as Soda shot me an apologetic smile. "Right here, Steve," I said, holding up my middle finger.

"Ponyboy!" Darry was rubbing his head, his face stony.

"Keep him on his toes, boys." Caplan nodded at Steve and Soda.

Steve beamed proudly. "You better believe it."

Getting my bearings, I finally found my wallet and pulled out some cash. Darry shifted uncomfortably as Soda watched us.

"Here you go, Sarge."

Caplan took my money, but this time he accepted it without comment. His hands transferred the textbook into my own.

"So, does this mean I have homework?"

"Do you think you need it?" He tilted his head at the book.

I laughed at him. "I hope not." The textbook was heavy and I bounced the weight in my palms, in disbelief that soon I would actually be taking a college course.

_Who would have thought?_

Darry chose to butt in. "Pone go check on breakfast."

_You weren't making breakfast_, I wanted to snap back but I didn't.

"Bye Sarge," I said. As I brushed past Darry I muttered, "Way to be subtle, Dar."

"See you in a few weeks, Curtis. Don't let things get to you too much." Caplan called out gruffly as Darry exiled me to the kitchen. "They'll fix themselves."

"Heads up!" Steve shouted, snapping the football down the hall as he and Soda darted after it.

Darry moved to follow me, but before he could I heard Caplan say to my brother in a low tone: "You don't like me and I understand that. I even admire that; I'm not sure I'd act differently in your situation. But for his sake, suck it up son. Give the kid – not me – a break. He needs the both of us."

XXXX

"_Darry? Soda?" I called out to the empty house. And it wasn't just empty it was deserted. No one in sight. Panic brewing in my stomach I ran for the front door, my clammy hand whipping it open. _

_On the other side of the door I met a purple sky. Dark purple, clouds swirling, the air silent and heavy. My street was deserted as well. No cars, no wind, no…noise. _

_I ran into the vacant street. "Hello?" Where in the hell was everyone?_

"_Over here, Ponyboy," Johnny said as he quietly strode up to me, Dallas following him. _

_I pointed at the sky. "Something's not right."_

"_You mean besides the fact that you're talking to us?" Dallas raised an amused eyebrow. "We're dead you know."_

"_No shit, Sherlock," I snapped, not in the mood for his sarcasm. _

"_I take it you want to wake up then?" Dallas growled. _

_I nodded and bit my lip. Everything felt wrong._

_Johnny suddenly had an apple in his hands. It was shiny and golden, round as a baseball. He juggled it, watching me with dark eyes. "Ponyboy, things change. We won't always be here." _

"_You haven't been here for a while," I muttered forlornly. I met his eyes and sighed. "I know. I need to get over it. Let go." _

_Dallas's mouth twisted into a wry smile. He held his hand out and snapped. "Johnnycake." _

_Johnny tossed Dallas the apple, it smacking into Dally's palm. Dally turned his eyes toward me. "Give me your knife." _

"_Dal, you know I don't carry a knife." _

"_Check your pockets." _

_I did and found Jimmy Logan's switchblade there. "Figures." I laughed and flicked the blade open, the metal glinting in the dusky light. _

_Very carefully, Dallas approached me and took the blade. He began peeling the apple in long, slow cuts, the golden skin coiling down. "Get used to it Pony. You'll be seeing a lot more of us before you see a lot less." _

"_Do I need to pencil a time in on my calendar?" I quipped._

_Dally's eyes glittered as he raised the knife and abruptly stabbed the apple which emitted a _smoosh_ sound._

_A moment passed; I watched my friends with confusion. _

_And then it happened, a piercing pain shattering the left side of my stomach. My eyes widened and my legs crumpled, causing me to fall to my knees in the middle of our street. _

"_Oh!" was all I could say._

_Standing over me, his dark shadow enveloping me, Dallas twisted the knife. _

_The pain came again. "Stop Dal," I said with a dry mouth. _

_He twisted it again. I flinched._

_And again._

"_Dal! Stop!" I screamed as unbearable stabbing tore through me and the apple began to bleed. _

_Red droplets spattering the asphalt._

XXXX

"Dallas! No!" I screamed again, kicking off my covers. "No, no, no," I mumbled incoherently as I felt sturdy hands encircle my shoulders.

"Ponyboy, it's alright. Relax. Shhh." The hands smoothed my hair back, touched my sweaty face.

I forced my eyes open. Soda was crouched over me, still wearing his DX clothes, his hands smeared with mechanic grease.

"Hey," Soda shook me gently, his fingers digging into my shoulders. His grayish-green face made me blink. He almost looked sick.

"What's wrong?" I whispered, unclear as to what time it was.

"I just got home from work. I heard you screaming when I was on the porch." Soda breathed heavily. "God, I didn't know what was happening in here. Scared me shitless."

Flustered, my hands clutched my stomach, reassuring myself that it was still in one piece. "My dream…" I began distantly, "Dallas…"

Soda sat up straighter and frowned at my words.

"Dallas…" I continued, a frown spreading across my own face, "…he was…killing me."

I stared at my stomach.

Soda softly pried my hands away and held them firmly between his own. My brother looked unsure of what to say.

A knock at the door made us both turn. Darry and Dana stood in the doorway watching us. Darry stared at Soda his eyes asking: _Another nightmare?_

Soda nodded. "Yeah, Dar."

Dana peered at me. "Are you alright, sweetie?"

"What time is it Darry?" I asked my brother randomly, tuning Dana out.

Caught off guard, Darry stuttered, "Oh um, four." He coughed and stared at me as if I had just asked the oddest question in the history of questions.

Through my window I could see that the sky was so dark it almost seemed as if it were midnight. Darry followed my gaze. "It's storming outside," he told me.

I rubbed my mesy hair. "I must've dozed off," I mumbled. And then, as my eyes caught the edge of a book, I remembered that I had been reading Caplan's textbook before my afternoon nap. Quickly, I tugged the sheets over the book before either of my brothers could spy it.

Dana tugged at his arm and brushed her black hair out of her eyes. "C'mon Darrel. We're going to miss the movie."

I smiled and swung my legs over the edge of the bed. "Really? Darry you're going to a movie?"

"Are pigs actually flying?" Soda asked me, pretending to check the skies.

Darry rolled his eyes at us. "Ha ha." He shot me a forced smile and stuck his fists in his pockets. "Well we were…but I think I'll stay home for the evening."

Sodapop was up and off the bed faster than you could count. "Stay here," he told me and then said to Darry. "Can I talk to you?"

It was amusing to see Sodapop order Darry around. As they stepped into the hall I heard Soda say angrily, "Darry for god's sake go out. Ponyboy had a nightmare but he's fine. I'll stay with him tonight."

Darry tried to protest, "But if he has another one I should be here."

"_I'll_ be here."

I had a funny feeling in my stomach as I realized I was being argued over by my brothers. Clearly Darry didn't want to let go and Sodapop knew it. As I got older, I had thought that it would be Sodapop who would have had issues with my growing up…but in the end, it was Darry.

_Surprise, surprise._

I groaned, wanting to tell Darry and Soda that I didn't need _either_ of them to stay with me but I didn't have the energy to interject myself into their disagreement.

They were speaking lowly but not lowly enough because Dana and I could both hear them. "Soda," Darry said sternly, "It's not a big deal. I can cancel."

Soda was silent and then chuckled. "Damn. And I thought I had issues with women."

My eyes widened and I snuck a glance at Dana. As soon as I saw her face I felt bad for her. She looked sad but also angry. Whether it was with me for always causing trouble or with Darry for being callous I couldn't tell.

She caught me watching her and stopped twisting her hair. "Was your nightmare very bad?"

"Yes."

Something passed across her face. She almost seemed glad to hear that. Then she crossed the room and sat next to me. "Darry doesn't tell me a lot, but from what I gather these aren't good to have."

"I know."

The back of her hand touched my sweaty forehead, feeling for a fever. "They make you sick. If you have them too much."

"I know." Drawing away from her, I stood up. "Go to your movie. Darry will enjoy it."

She laughed uncaringly and cocked her head. "Sometimes I wonder."

I met my brothers in the hallway, both of them returning from their talk. "I'm going to Shakes'," I lied.

But I really wasn't sure where I was going. I just wanted to get out of there and let my brothers enjoy their night. Lord knows, I wouldn't be going back to sleep anytime soon.

XXXX

Leave reviews!!


	16. Chapter 16

Ok-next chapter. Please read and review! It's long so be forewarned. And it's a cliffhanger so be forewarned too!

Also, (you'll see what I mean when you're done) but I have tried to research what I have written about in this chapter and the next…but forgive me if some things are exactly perfected! ;)

XXXX

Well I know it wasn't you who held me down

Heaven knows it wasn't you who set me free

So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains

And we never even know we have the key

-The Eagles

XXXX

Ponyboy's POV

"What'll it be? Waffles or Flapjacks?" Soda asked cheerfully as he splashed batter around in a bowl. Steve and I watched him warily as he poured the mix into a frying pan and began shaking it over the burner.

"You do have a fire extinguisher around here right?" Steve asked me, a look of caution darting across his features.

"Regretfully, no," I told him. Then to Soda I said, "Why are we having breakfast for dinner again?"

"Because it's good. Nutritious, even." He smiled sheepishly. "And because there's no food in the house."

Steve glanced at the clock on the wall. "They should be back from the store any second…" He grimaced as Soda threw crumpled pretzels into the batter. "With something that's edible."

Two-Bit and Darry had made a grocery run about an hour ago. I had volunteered but everyone had balked at that idea. Plus, with the storms rolling in Darry wanted to stock up on batteries and bottled water.

I examined the cards Steve had dealt me. "Re-deal them," I said shaking my head and slapping them back on the table. "I'm not playing if you cheat."

"I don't play dirty you little smartass," he said with a scowl, "that's your brother." Steve pointed his lit cigarette at Soda.

Soda shot him a look over his shoulder. "You know Darry's gonna skin you when he gets home, right?" Then he looked at me. "Don't listen to him. Who do you think I learned it from?"

Steve took my cards and reshuffled them with a grumble. The front door slammed and the lock bolted. I drummed my fingers on the table; trying to remember the last time we had locked the front door.

In skidded Two-Bit, two twelve packs in his hands, his mouth flapping. "Kid, I'd run and hide if I were you. Preferably to the next state."

Steve stopped mid-deal to gape at Two-Bit. "What'd you do now?"

A loud banging shook the door. "Dammit Two-Bit, let me in." It was Darry. "So help me god, if you make me get my keys…" he grumbled angrily and then trailed off.

My green eyes widened. "Yeah, Two-Bit. What _did_ you do now?"

Darry's key found the lock and he was inside, rain dripping off his coat. I met Soda's shocked eyes. Darry was pissed.

"When," he huffed, setting the remaining grocery bags on the floor, "were you going to tell me about that woman?"

At my startled face he continued, "The one who came around here a few weeks ago."

I tried to play dumb. "Oh?"

Two-Bit shut his eyes and whistled. "Take the fifth. Take the fifth."

"Christ Ponyboy!" Darry suddenly yelled at me. I jumped and dropped my cards.

_Damn. I had aces. _

"She knows and you just forget to tell me about it?" Despite the wrath in his voice I saw the worry in his eyes.

"Darry!" Soda snapped, flapjacks burning behind him. "Calm down."

I sighed. It took longer than I thought it would have but Darry fianlly found out about Karen Nichols' latest visit.

"She said she wouldn't tell?" I offered, hoping this would soothe him.

Darry paused a moment to take a breath and then exploded again, this time a bit more quietly than before. "This wasn't a visit from the state." His icy eyes darted to Two-Bit. "Two-Bit of all the stupid things you could have done-"

This time I exploded. "Glory Darry! What'd you do? Beat it out of him?" I yelled back, knowing Two-Bit would never voluntarily tell him what had happened.

"Kid," Two-Bit said intervening, "I saw her at the grocery store. That crazy broad started in on me…Darry was just…there."

Two-Bit saw Steve's raised eyebrow. "What?" he asked.

"You cussed her out didn't you?" Steve rocked back in his chair. "You cussed that broad out."

"Of course not!" Two-Bit said exasperated. "I didn't want to make things worse." He shot me a small smile.

"Ponyboy, were you ever going to tell me?" Darry said with a funny expression on his face.

"Darry…I…" My mouth flapped open wordlessly.

What could I say? That I had told Caplan and not him? That after hearing Caplan's advice I figured I'd wait it out because the chance of Karen Nichols spilling the truth was rare.

But from the look on Darry's face I think he already knew who I had told.

"Wait, wait. Wait!" Soda exclaimed. "Tell you what? C'mon you two, I'm lost." Soda raised his hands in a _what gives_ gesture.

"Someone knows that I went to Nam when I was 16."

My words hit Soda like a Mack Truck. He slumped back against the counter. "She hasn't told anyone?" he croaked.

"No. I don't think she will…" I ventured. "She's just angry her son's dead…"

"…And you're not," Soda finished for me, rolling that thought around in his mind. I could see him wanting to accept it, grasping for the idea that this would turn out all right in the end.

"Simple human nature," Steve added with a casual shrug. I nodded at him with agreement, his notion was an honest one, but Soda shot him a nasty glance.

"It may very well blow over, Ponyboy. I just wish you would have told me is all," Darry said, his voice softening several octaves.

Soda was still staring at me as if I had a deadly, incurable disease. "It'll be ok Sodapop," I said trying to reassure him. Then to Darry I said, "I'm really sorry. I just tried not to worry-"

I choked my words off as I caught a flash of white in the living room. Bolting off my chair, I flew out of the kitchen. In his anger, Darry had forgotten to shut the front door.

Pounding down the steps, I grabbed Shakes' shoulder. He spun around; from the look on his face he had heard everything.

"Were you ever going to tell me Ponyboy?" His voice was high and strained.

"Probably not. It's not something to talk about."

"Well, you could've told _me_," Shakes said before leaving me standing in the pouring rain.

"Ah, hell," I said to the dark night.

XXXX

_The pounding rain hit me hard as I jogged down the street to my house. The only problem was I couldn't find it. It was pitch black outside. The only thing I could see was the harsh glow of the street lamps._

_Street lamps._

_And then I blinked._

_This was a dream. _

_A bad dream. _

_A red stain seeped through my shirt near my stomach. _

_Frowning I touched it; my palms coming back red. Then, just as soon as it had come, it was gone._

"_Now you see it, now you don't," intoned Jimmy Logan. _

_I stared at him as he sauntered up to me. "At least I prefer you to Slim," I told him with amusement._

"_That makes two of us." Dally flicked his lighter the soft glow of the flame illuminating his stony features._

_Dumbly, I wondered how he could light a cigarette in this weather but then remembered that this wasn't real. Feeling water in my shoes and I looked down to see that the rain was flooding the street, the wind whipping violently._

"_This will be short and sweet," Dallas said. _

_Seeing the knife my eyes widened in fear. I backed away but Dallas just stood there. _

_Instantly, my body was racked with pain and when I looked down again, blood was flooding the street, filling my shoes._

XXXX

I woke up screaming, my yell mixing with the sound of distant thunder. My hands gripped the couch in panic. I fumbled with the lamp cord but it refused to turn on.

Soda threw the door open and stuck his head in; he was drenched with rain and carrying a flashlight. The wind howled behind him. "You up?" he asked breathlessly.

"Yeah. What's going on?" I squinted into the beam of his flashlight.

Soda chuckled but was still disconcerted. "The power went off all across town. There's a storm coming. Maybe tornadoes." He waved his flashlight at me. "I'm looking for more in the garage. Darry's on his way home, Steve and Two-Bit-"

Stopping abruptly, Soda peered closer at me. "You sure you're ok Pone?"

I nodded mutely and clenched my hands into fists. Fighting down panic, I forced a smile. "I'll come help."

"No. Stay dry. Stay here." Soda flickered the flashlight at me and was gone.

_I belong a long way from here_ I thought with glum realization. The wind wailed outside, almost beckoning me to open that front door and step out.

And I did. I was never any good at listening to warnings.

The sky was a greenish-black, clouds moving shapelessly, quickly. I sucked in a breath. I didn't like this weather. It was as if I had awoken into my nightmare.

I was almost back inside the house, ready to get my jacket and help Soda when I froze, the screen door held open by my hand. The wind had settled down, an eerie peace descending.

Frowning, I walked down the porch steps, the screen door clattering behind me. I stood in the middle of the street and squinted into the gloomy dusk. The air had calmed, yet a steady tension still hung over the neighborhood. The hot, humid air burned my throat.

I got it. I knew what this was.

You didn't live in Tulsa your whole life and forget the warning signs.

"Oh shit!" Running hard for the garage, I kept checking behind me for the funnel cloud. Our garage was set apart from the house, almost shed-like. It was where my dad had fixed our bikes and set up our fishing poles.

"Soda!" I yelled into the air as the wind picked up, but I doubted he had heard me.

Forcefully, I whipped the side door of the garage open. Soda looked up from a jumble of boxes. "Hey Pone. I found a bunch of Darry's old baseball cards." The beam of his flashlight illuminated Mickey Mantle.

"Soda," I panted. "We gotta get inside now."

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What are you-"

A howling sound came from outside, as wind and hail rocked the rickety garage. Soda's brown eyes darted open. "Oh. That." Then he jumped up and grabbed my hand. "Let's go."

Before Soda could open the door, it was viciously ripped off its hinges by the approaching tornado. Wheeling around, Soda shoved me in the opposite direction. "Go! Go Pone!" He swore under his breath.

Quickly, I scoured the garage for another way out. I grabbed the main garage door and gripped it tight. "Soda, we're going to have to run for the basement," I told him.

"I know," he said, his eyes grim. Then he nodded resolutely. "Do it."

I threw it open and we ran for the house, the wind slowing us down, the funnel behind us. It sounded like a railroad train was chasing us.

"Watch it!" Soda shouted as a "For Sale" sign crashed a few feet by us.

Halfway to the house, it caught us. Soda and I were knocked to the ground. He grimaced and yelled something but I couldn't hear him. Everything was too loud. A strange fuzziness like the sound of TV static mixed with the roar of the tornado took over my ears.

Before I could pull myself back up, something else did. And then I was slammed sideways into something hard, rubble and wood collapsing around me.

XXXX

Someone was shouting. I wanted to tell them to leave me alone so I could sleep. I had school tomorrow.

XXXX

The pain from my stomach woke me up next. My chest burning, somebody pinching the left side of my stomach.

XXXX

Quietly, a voice was murmuring, steadying itself not to erupt with alarm. Somebody rocked me, a humming filling my head. Once, twice, three times, my eyes tried to open and then with deliberate force I was able to.

Boy, I was tired.

Soda's frantic face stared down at me. He choked on a sob and rocked me again. "You're awake."

Then his head did a 180 as he shouted out, "Darry!" His arm raised and he motioned to someone behind him.

My head felt fuzzy as Soda patted my shoulder, smoothing back my hair. "Honey, you with me?"

I couldn't say anything; instead my mind was trying to figure out exactly what I was laying on that felt like a mixture of rocks and scissors.

Darry appeared over Sodapop and knelt down next to him. "You found him," he stated, relief evident in his voice.

I cocked my head and found my voice. "Was I lost?" I couldn't remember what had happened.

Soda and Darry stared at each other for a second and then to my horror, Soda burst into tears. "We didn't know where the…the tornado threw you, Pone. I just didn't know."

Glancing around I saw that I was lying on a pile of rubble that had been the garage. Suddenly it all rushed back to me, I remembered what had happened.

_Damn Mother Nature. If it weren't Socs or robbers out to get me it was the goddamned weather_.

"Looks like I made it back into the garage after all," I joked, trying to get Soda to smile.

Darry and Soda were silent. _Well if no one was going to say anything, I was getting off this pile of trash._ I shifted and sat up quickly, stars clouding my vision.

Both of my brothers appeared to have aneurysms on the spot. "Glory! Don't do that Pone," Soda pleaded. "You just got tossed ass over teakettle."

Darry, pale but steady, ran his hands down my legs and arms, squeezing them to check for breaks. "You're going to the hospital."

"I don't need to," I said brushing him off. My eyes lit up. "Hey! Our house is still here."

"Sure is…" Darry said slowly, catching Soda's worried gaze. "Ponyboy we're going to get you up now. Tell us if _anything_ hurts you."

Darry and Soda's strong arms brought me up. I hobbled for a moment and then straightened up. "Good?" Darry asked.

I nodded at him. "Dar, I'm real thirsty."

"We'll get you something in a minute kiddo. Hold on." Keeping a firm grip on my elbow, Darry turned to Sodapop. "Soda, go round up the guys. Then we'll go to the hospital."

Reluctantly, Soda hopped in the truck and sped down the street, narrowly missing taking out our mailbox.

"Darry, I don't need a hospital," I said with frustration, watching Soda drive away.

Darry shook his head. "Don't. Do not argue with me. Please. If nothing else, it will make Soda and myself feel better."

"Fine." As I took a step, the piercing pain from earlier ran through my belly. I winced and sucked in a breath.

Darry missed nothing. "What is it?" he asked with hawk-like concern.

"Just sore." I smiled and forced my aching body into the house. "Where are Two-Bit and Steve anyways?"

Hesitating, Darry pulled the door shut. "They're halfway down the block looking for you."

_Man, if I had gone that far they wouldn't find me alive, that's for sure_. But I kept this thought to myself.

"Get on that couch and don't move. I'm going to call Dana, we'll wait for Soda and then we'll go." My brother was speaking so methodically that I knew thinking rationally was the only way he could keep it together.

"Geez, Darry. At least let me use the bathroom first." I shot him a grin. "Five minutes."

"I'll time it," he said, relenting with a tight laugh.

What I really wanted to do was wash my face. I felt like I had when I was seven years old and Steve had pushed my face into the dirt and told me to eat it. Grimy and dusty.

I washed and dried my face and stared at my reflection in the mirror. And then I realized why Soda was so upset. I could've been dead; I looked dead. My ashy face was bruised, dark circles underneath my eyes.

Soda had been out there by himself, searching frantically, unsure of whether he'd find me breathing or lying dead someplace in a mess of rubble.

It'd be enough to make me come unglued too.

A wave of dizziness hit me and I clutched the sink. My hand went down and touched my left side. Damn. Something _was_ wrong.

I heard hollow coughing and realized it was me. All of a sudden, I noticed there was blood in the sink. Horrified, I raised my hands to my mouth and coughed again. They came away flooded in red.

I definitely wasn't feeling too hot.

My bloody hand slipped off the doorknob as I tried to open it, leaving behind a red mess. _I'll have to clean that_, I thought woozily. I tried again and this time got it open.

"Darry," I said as I entered the living room. My brother dropped the phone, his face frozen in shock as I held up my bloody hands.

"I think I need to go to the hospital now," I told him before pitching forward onto the carpet.

XXXX

Wowie-what a long chapter. Let me know what you all thought! Please review!  Sorry to leave you like this but no more updates until tomorrow.


	17. Chapter 17

SO Sorry for the long delay! This chapter just wouldn't come…but at least it's here and semi-long. I have trouble writing when I know it's shit. So hopefully this is decent. More will come soon since I am in a writing frenzy now.

Please read and review!!

XXXX

So if you're lonely

You know I'm here waiting for you

I'm just a crosshair

I'm just a shot away from you

And if you leave here

You leave me broken, shattered, I lie

I'm just a crosshair

I'm just a shot, then we can die

I know I won't be leaving here with you

-Franz Ferdinand

XXXX

Ponyboy's POV

_"Ponyboy Michael," a voice was trying to say steadily, pushing down encroaching fear, "don't you do this. Wake up. Now."_

Bits and pieces of vague and varied conversation floated around in my scrambled brain.

_"Darry, what the hell happened?" someone else yelped, brown eyes widening in panic as his hands grabbed limp ones._

_I was scooped up in strong arms. My stomach ached. _

"_Too much…there's too much blood," croaked a friend I once knew…_

I yawned and stretched, sitting up in a darkened room. The voices blurred and died off.

_Why did Darry let me sleep so late?_ I thought with annoyance.

As I jumped off the bed, I realized with frightening intensity that something was wrong. I was not at home. My feet barely grazed the ground, as I felt light as a feather.

I touched my temple with my right hand; a headache throbbed there. Evaluating the room was an odd sensation. I felt as if I had experienced this scenario before…but couldn't quite place it…

And I don't know why I said it, but the words instantly rose up on my lips: "Dal? Johnny?"

_You idiot_, a voice inside my mind said. _They're dead. They're dead. You know that and you're crazy for asking._

But they answered me. "You rang?" Dallas said, smirking as he stepped out of the darkness.

"Hey Pone," Johnny greeted me with a wave.

Then it dawned on me. I remembered what had happened: The tornado, the blood.

And suddenly I hated Dallas Winston and these games. The not knowing, the waiting.

"Get me back!" I snapped. "This isn't goddamned Alice in Wonderland or Wizard of Oz. I want to go home. Now."

Suddenly, Dallas was beside me. I jumped and clutched my side protectively. "it's not that easy. But you're right Ponyboy. This ain't no fairytale," he said lackadaisically. "And this ain't a dream," he added at my increasingly widening eyes. "This is real."

Someone patted my shoulder in sympathy and I spun around to see Johnny standing beside me. "It'll be alright Ponyboy."

Ignoring Johnny, I stared at Dallas bitterly. " I always had nightmares. After my parents. But stuff like _this_ never happened to me until after you two died."

Dally snorted. "Finally figured that one out did you? And they call you the smart one."

"You know Ponyboy," Johnny ventured, more for my benefit than his, "maybe it's why we died…to help-"

"Don't say that!" I barked. Fatigued, I dropped into a chair and inspected my red hands. "Don't say that," I repeated in a gentler tone. Thinking like that wouldn't help me. I couldn't go there.

Dallas lounged across my bed. I had a brief image of him mixed with Slim and it made me sad. Dallas was better than Slim on so many levels, only it was he who had been the one to die early.

"Having trouble believing this?" Dally asked, seriousness heavy in his voice.

I blinked and looked up. "No. I believe it. It's just weird." I shot him a smile. "No one else would believe this. Not even Sodapop."

"Then it's just for you," Johnny spoke up. "Bad stuff like this would've happened, whether we had lived or not Ponyboy," Johnny added. "It's life."

"Sure." I mumbled.

But I got what he had wanted to say. With or without them, bad luck would always happen. Only in other circumstances it could have happened to Two-Bit, or Steve. Or Soda. I just had a knack for stumbling into it myself.

I found their eyes and said more bravely than I felt, "Well, if this is it, let me fall. 'Cause I'm real tired of this."

I was met with silence as Dally blew smoke rings and Johnny randomly pulled out a copy of "Gone with the Wind," and juggled it between his hands.

And then, realizing that I was incredibly hollow and incredibly alone, I asked Johnny: "Where're my brothers?"

He pointed at the door. "Out there."

Hesitating for a moment, I lingered in the room and then I was moving fast, pulling the door open and stepping outside…

The first ones I saw were Steve and Two-Bit. Steve was smoking, resting his head against the back of the chair and staring at the ceiling. Two-Bit held a _People_ magazine but he stared straight through it, his leg bouncing nervously.

My eyes whisked in the opposite direction and finally I saw my brothers. Darry and Soda were speaking with a doctor. The doctor was a tall man, bald with a black beard. The expression he gave my brothers was something between disdain and impatience.

Darry ran a hand through his hair; I was shocked to see dark, dried blood staining the front of his t-shirt. "Look, in English. Please. What does that mean?"

I wrinkled my nose. Darry was frustrated; worse Darry's frustration was actually breaking through the tough barrier he had always tried to keep up as a front. And if Darry was frustrated…

My head snapped to Soda, really seeing him this time…

Well, Sodapop was positively pissed…

"Doc, if I don't get a straight answer in about two minutes-" A muscle twitched in Soda's jaw as the doctor sighed and nearly rolled his eyes.

Dally whispered, even though no one could hear us. "Soda's a lot calmer now than he was back at the house. I mean boy, when he walked in and saw you lying there he just-"

"Shut up," I hissed at him. I didn't want to hear this.

"What?" Dallas asked pretending to be wounded, " I just wanted to give you one last talking to."

Glaring at him, I crossed my arms. "Swell." Then I caught onto his words. "What do you mean 'last'?" I squeaked.

"Settle down. It'll come to you."

The snap of the doctor's clipboard got my attention again. "The blunt abdominal trauma your brother received resulted in extensive internal bleeding to the organs. Especially to the spleen which ruptured. The internal bleeding can be stopped through a simple blood transfusion. But we need permission from his guardian to perform a splenectomy - remove the ruptured spleen. So as you can see, we need a signature, Mr. Curtis." He held out the clipboard to Darry. "Think you can do that?"

As Darry grabbed the clipboard away and hurriedly inspected the forms, the doctor chuckled and ran a hand down his goatee. "That damn tornado. Well, at least it's good for business." He chuckled good-naturedly.

Soda and I both gaped at him, aghast. Darry kept his head down, staring at the forms, but I saw his knuckles go white.

Soda shook his head and took a step forward, fists clenched. "Buddy…"

"Whoa!" Steve said quickly, jumping out of his chair and grabbing Soda's arm. He pulled down into a chair next to Two-Bit. "C'mon Soda." Then in a lower tone he said, "Soda, I don't think it's wise to assault the doctor who'll soon be holding the scalpel over Ponyboy."

Darry scribbled down his signature and shoved the clipboard back at the doctor, his face stormy. "If you don't find me immediately after his surgery, I'll find you."

I smiled with satisfaction as I saw the doctor take a step back from Darry. It was as if he was really seeing him and all his muscles for the first time. "It'll be one or two hours," he grumbled and spun around on his heel, running into Dana.

"Hello, sir," she said briskly.

"Nurse Maxwell," he commanded, pushing the forms in her hand. "Get this patient prepped for surgery."

Her eyes narrowed as he walked away. "Prick," she muttered before turning back to Darry.

The doctor stopped and slowly turned around. "What's that nurse?"

Dana feigned innocence. "Sir?" She cocked her head in confusion.

He squinted hard at Dana and then continued his walk back down the corridor.

"That goddamn bastard doctor," Dana muttered as she turned back to Darry. "Thinks his shit don't stink…" Then remembering the situation, Dana laid a hand on Darry's arm and asked, "Did you understand what Dr. Copeland told you about your brother?" But her words weren't condescending they were honest, professional.

"Yes," Darry said in a stilted voice. "He needs an operation." His eyes were numb, resigned and helpless.

"So, he'll be fine then?" Two-Bit asked, tossing the magazine aside. Soda looked terrified of the news and took a couple of deep breaths.

"He lost a lot of blood." Dana shifted uneasily. She held up a hand at Soda's irritated face, cutting off a retort. I knew he'd lay into her for not being encouraging but I appreciated the honesty.

Darry's face was paper white as Dana continued, "But he _should_ be fine with a transfusion. Despite Dr. Copeland's lack of tact, he is a good doctor. Just know that the surgery does come with risks. Some patients are susceptible to post-surgery infections such as sepsis, or uh, lowered immune systems."

I had to smile right along with Steve as he lowered his head into his hands and said, "God, that's just what that kid needs. A lowered immune system."

Dally smirked. "So he's still a shit. Great."

Dana squeezed Darry's hand. "Don't worry. I'll be there."

The scene in front of me began to fade a bit, voices becoming harder to hear. Steve said something to Soda and patted him on the back as Soda and Two-Bit's dazed expressions clouded over. Dana squeezed Darry's hand and left him to sit beside Sodapop.

Dally nudged me. "Want to see your surgery?"

I grimaced. Seeing my guts strung out on an operating table wasn't high on my list of priorities. "Not really."

Dally lit a cigarette and breathed smoke out through his nostrils. "Better watch kid. After all, it could be your funeral."

All of a sudden, I had no words to fight with Dallas Winston.

XXXX

_"There sure is a lot of blood in people…"_

Johnny's words from Windrixville echoed throughout my head as I watched Doctor Copeland scoop out my insides. "I don't even want to know what that is," I murmured.

We were huddled in the operating room, standing around unnoticed, watching my surgery. Long, thin tubes transferred someone else's blood into me. I shut my eyes and turned away from the scene, facing Johnny and Dallas. "So don't keep me in suspense. Tell me. Does he knick an artery? Too much anesthesia?" I asked almost crazily.

Things seemed to be running too smoothly, what I wanted to know was where it took a turn for the worst.

Johnny shot me an impressed glance. "What makes you think anything happens?"

"We're here for something…" I said at the same time as Dallas said, "It'll happen…"

Dana, who was assisting, hung up the OR phone and hurried over to the doctor. "Sir, the weather's getting worse outside." As if to make her point, lights flickered on and off overhead. "We need to close up soon, get the rest of the blood in, if the electricity fails…"

Copeland hushed her and she fell back, silent but eyes blazing.

Then I became aware that Dallas and Johnny had stepped away from me. Johnny walked around to the heart monitor. "We're going to go now Ponyboy," he said in a low voice.

I nodded; thinking it would be good to be alone for a while, collect my thoughts. "Ok. See you around Johnnycake."

_The next nightmare probably_, I joked to myself.

Johnny shook his head. "No. You won't."

My chest tightened and I could barely force out, "What?"

"You gotta make it out of this yourself, kid." Dallas said, walking slowly up to me, gripping my hands in an odd gesture that frightened me more than his words. "We're not gonna be around anymore. Anywhere. It's over. Done."

I stared at them, a sudden dread filling me. If they were serious…

…Shoot, I could barely remember a time without them…even when they weren't actually walking and breathing on earth. At least I still had them in my dreams.

"What am I gonna do without you?" I sputtered.

"That's up to you Ponyboy." Johnny ran his hand down the heart monitor; he wouldn't meet my eyes.

The lights overhead flickered again.

Dallas shrugged. "Does it look like I care?"

But I knew he did. He could lie to himself but not to me. I knew him too well. I nearly laughed to myself…I had felt like I didn't know Dally Winston at all when he was alive…but dead…well I could read him like a book…

"No," I said in disbelief, wrenching my hands away from Dallas and stepping backwards.

Dallas shot me that shit-eating grin of his and held out his arms. "Take a good, long look."

"Choose. It's your choice." Johnny suddenly met my eyes with a strange forcefulness and I knew what he was going to do.

I snapped my eyes shut, took a deep breath to collect myself and then opened them. "I'll never forget you guys," I whispered more to myself than to them.

Johnny shot me a real grin, not that frightened puppy-dog one I had always remembered. A real one. "We know you won't Ponyboy." And he raised his hand, balling it into a fist over the heart monitor.

Dallas walked over to Johnny. Everything was beginning to fade. "And if you do kid…we'll be back."

My mouth pulled into a thin, taught line and I nodded curtly. "Johnny. Do it."

Johnny raised his fist higher and then slammed it down onto my heart monitor. The wavy line short-circuited once, twice and then snapped off. Everything went dark.

XXXX

Alrighty…please leave reviews and I will update. I hope this wasn't a horrible chapter. Meh. I have no clue. ;)

Also, pardon any typos…I proofed this quickly…

Thanks!


	18. Chapter 18

XXXX

"Everybody's talking to me

But they just can't explain

Disappeared from all the pages

And nothing seems the same…

…You were golden and I was blind

Now it's like we've never met…"

-Neko Case

XXXX

The darkness was stifling. Unnerving. I had no idea how long I had been sitting in the dark, on the ground. If I looked left there was a golden glow, looking to the right was blackness.

It seemed obvious what each direction represented. I wasn't _that_ out of it. And eventually I'd have to stand up and walk in a specific direction. I just didn't know what I'd choose.

I was alone for once. No one to help me through this.

As soon as Johnny had hit the machine something had snapped inside of me. My headache was gone as was my stomach pain. Yet, I didn't think this was a good sign.

Pain, as I was slowly realizing, was a good thing. It meant you were still alive.

I groaned and stood up. I really was tired but I couldn't stop here. It was too lonely. So I turned to the left and began the long trudge down the narrow passageway.

When I came out on the other side I was back in Windrixville. I was in the church, the sandy gravel crunching beneath my feet. Cigarette butts littered the pews. Nausea welled up inside me as I saw a coffin sitting up ahead.

Lights flickered on, cutting out and then emitting a soft, candle-like glow over the church. Weakly, I pulled myself into a pew and sat for five minutes, remembering Regina and Jimmy Logan, remembering Vietnam, Crock and Shep, my brothers, Slim and most importantly, remembering Dally and Johnny.

I sighed and pulled myself out of the pew and approached the coffin. I rested my shaky hands on top of the smooth oak.

An inscription was engraved on the front of the coffin. Peering at it in the dusky light it read simply: "Choose."

The word held many meanings. Choose this life or that. Choose to remember or forget…choose to fight or die…

_Choose…_

My mouth was dry as I ran my palms down the edge of the coffin and gripped the lid. I didn't think I could open it…too many terrible visions kept flooding my mind…

_Would it be Darry? Soda? Steve? Two-Bit?_

As I swung the lid open, I saw with relief that it was…myself. "Thank god," was all I managed to say.

This I could handle.

I stared at myself in that box, wishing I could go back, willing the pain to come again.

And boy, when it came, it hit me hard.

My stomach tightened in a vise as my mouth formed an 'O' and my knees crumpled. I fell to the earth and moaned. And I coughed and coughed until blood began hitting the dust and the rocks.

Rolling over on my back, I shut my eyes and waited, hating to go through this alone but knowing I had to. I had to hold on.

Then as my vision became hazy and everything turned gray I heard my mother's voice say, as clearly as Soda's would have: "Ponyboy, honey, don't be afraid. Just relax…"

I relaxed. I stopped fighting and let the pain hit me in waves. Everything turned dark and my eyes fluttered against the dimming goldness of the church.

And my last thought before I left this world was: "Is this all a dream?"

But I knew it wasn't.

XXXX

_Very hot. _

I tossed and turned and threw my covers off. I was burning up. I was dying.

An image of Dally laughing flashed before me and I groaned, my voice a near wail. It hurt badly.

"We need to get his temperature down. Now," a harried voice said. Coolness enveloped me as someone wiped a rag on my sweaty face.

I was between here and there, semi-conscious, trying to pull back, but not wanting to.

Either that or I couldn't.

I wasn't strong enough.

"That's not working," someone said curtly.

Unexpectedly, strong arms swept me up and I was hit with freezing water. I sank into the ice and before I could make sense of anything, I went limp, blacking out.

XXXX

When my eyes opened next everything was dim. Colors, voices. I tried to move but couldn't. I didn't have the strength.

Soda sat sleeping next to me in a chair, dark circles shaded his eyes and I briefly wondered how long I had been out of it. His hand lay across my bed, a copy of "Gone With the Wind" on his lap.

I licked my dry lips. "Soda," I whispered. "Soda."

He didn't stir, apparently needing his sleep. I yawned and before I could say anything else drifted off again.

XXXX

A very worried face peered down at me. Strong hands smoothed my hair back and then Soda was saying, "Ponyboy? Can you hear me, honey?"

I blinked once, objects and people coming into focus. But once again, it was the same dreary, gray focus. Darry stood behind Sodapop, hands in his jeans pockets.

My mouth moved but nothing came out, I was still too hot.

God, what did they have the heater turned on to in here? 

"Am I dying?" I croaked aloud, more to myself than to the random people in the room. Faces blurred and I wasn't sure I knew who I was talking to.

A sharp intake of breath told me I had said the wrong thing. "Don't talk like that Ponyboy," Darry said in a strained voice. "You have an infection, now lay still and relax. Please be quiet."

I wanted to laugh at him, these random people giving me orders. And I did just that. I laughed and I laughed until a nurse came and stuck a needle in my arm. That quieted me down for sure.

I hated needles.

XXXX

The next time I came around, I could focus. I wasn't fully focused but at least I wasn't spouting gibberish.

"Hey," I said in quiet shock to the person next to me.

Shakes jumped, nearly falling out of his chair. "Oh, Jesus! You're awake. Jesus…" he stammered. "I'll get the doctor, hold on, just-"

"Shakes, don't," I told him. "I'm sick of doctors."

He sank back into his chair, looking at me warily. Shakes stuck his hand out and felt my forehead. "Well," he said with resignation, "you're not _that_ warm…"

I stared at my friend and then turned my gaze up to the ceiling. "Shakes, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Vietnam…I didn't know how and I-"

"Goddammit Ponyboy," Shakes said, half-appalled and half-angry. "Do you think that matters anymore? I didn't know what to do when I got the call that my best friend was in the hospital, bleeding out…" He took a shaky breath. "Well…let's just say I'm over it."

I smiled at the crooked ceiling and then I asked, "What happened?"

At his frightened expression I added, "I mean _after_ the tornado. I remember what happened before." How could I forget?

Shakes cleared his throat and sank back into his chair. "When you were in surgery another tornado hit Tulsa. The power went out. All over town. The transfusion wouldn't go through…machines, everything went haywire. You were losing blood too fast. But you pulled through," Shakes said in an amazed tone. "A lot of people didn't."

I bit my lip, feeling instantly guilty.

Shakes, seeming to know what I was thinking, shook his head. "You are still sick, if that makes you feel any better. You've been fighting a fever ever since. The doc said your brain was gonna fry."

Shakes smiled. "Darry finally dumped you in a bathtub full of ice. You screamed and screamed but it got your fever down."

"Where are Darry and Soda?" I asked, beginning to feel dreamy again. It was as if, no matter how I tried, I kept sinking back down. I was sleepy.

"Darry's at work, Pone. And Soda…well Soda's real bad off…."

Shakes stopped, seeing that I was too upset to hear about Sodapop and then stared at me with serious eyes. "You were lucky this time. Real lucky."

I met his brown eyes with my glassy green ones and replied, "I'm lucky every time."

I wanted to thank Shakes. Thank him for being a great friend and a great narrator to boot. But I couldn't. My lids went heavy and I fell asleep.

XXXX

It took me a long time to come around. When I did, I was miserable. A few days later, I awoke, upset and alone. The room was deserted. It was night.

The vague conversations I had had with Shakes and Soda and Darry overwhelmed me. I couldn't shake the feeling of panic, of desperation. Saying goodbye to Dally and Johnny was beginning to hit me…somehow it was worse the second time around.

I knew I'd never see them again.

Would I see anyone ever again? Had everyone left me alone to fend for myself? Were they sick of my problems…myself? Irrational thoughts pounded my brain as I tried to convince myself not to worry.

It was hard to breathe as I pulled myself up on my elbows, my heart pounding in my chest. With great effort, I swung my legs over the edge of my bed, ignoring the pain in my side, ignoring the fact that this was beginning to mirror the last dream involving Johnny and Dally I had had a while ago.

My bare feet touched the cold tile. The coolness felt so good. I wanted to go home and find my brothers. On shaky legs, I padded across the tile and popped open a window, letting the chilly night air blow into the room.

I barely heard the creak of the door open and Darry exclaim in a voice that was struggling not to yell out in alarm, "Ponyboy. You shouldn't be up."

He crossed the room in three strides and led me back to bed. Darry tucked the blankets around my legs as if they'd keep me from escaping again.

"Darry. It's ok. I feel better." I said hollowly, knowing I didn't sound at all like myself. But I didn't feel better. I felt like shit. All of a sudden, I wanted to be in that black place again...alone.

My brother looked at me with doubt and worry. He felt my clammy forehead. "No. Your fever's not all the way down yet," he said sternly. "You're not supposed to overexert yourself-" Darry stopped himself and asked softly, "Pony, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." I swiped at my eyes, wishing I could disappear. "Everything." I rolled over on my side, away from my brother and clamped my eyes and mouth shut. I didn't trust myself to speak.

Darry did instead, feeling the need to fill the silence almost desperately. "You've been out for about a week or so. Kiddo…god, you have no idea how glad…"

He broke off as I began to cry. The sobs racked my body, three years worth of grief overflowing. Finally breaking for my parents, for Johnny and Dallas, even for Jimmy Logan and Slim.

XXXX

Perhaps cheesy…perhaps not…it just felt right. Since I updated twice tonight…please leave twice the reviews.

Sweet!

Thanks for reading!!

I suppose I am getting ready to end this in a few chapters, I don't want it to get too long or drawn out….any suggestions before I bite the bullet?

Thanks!


	19. Chapter 19

Second to last chapter…thanks for all the reviews…leave what you want to see for the last chapter! Tee hee! 

Thanks **SO SO SO** much for reading!!

XXXX

"I got lost

In the sounds

I hear in my mind

All these voices

I hear in my mind all these words

I hear in my mind

All this music

And it breaks my heart"

-Regina Spektor

XXXX

Soda's POV

I hated hospitals. Pretty much everyone I know winds up here.

Taking one last puff of my cigarette, I chucked it onto the sidewalk and eyed the EMERGENCY sign warily. I blew into my hands and then stuffed them nervously into my pockets.

Earlier this morning, Darry had called the DX telling me Ponyboy had come around.

"I'll be right there," I had said, my knuckles white as they gripped the phone tightly.

"No, Soda," Darry said briskly. "He's…-"

I clutched the phone tighter, keeping my voice steady. "He's all right ain't he?"

Darry sighed, hesitation apparent in his voice. "Sure, he's just a little upset. Finish out the day and come around after work. Let him settle down. Ok, Sodapop?"

"Darry…did he say anything…?"

Shit. I hated this feeling. It was the same feeling I had had after Sandy had left. Just sitting around and waiting for the phone to ring.

I didn't know how Darry did it. Worrying about so many things at one time, especially worrying over Ponyboy and me. But deep down I knew how he did it. He had to do it.

Sure, we made him crazy but without us he'd really go insane.

Darry had sighed again. "He hasn't asked for _anyone_, Sodapop."

So now standing outside of the hospital, I was trying to work up the guts to actually go inside. I was afraid of Ponyboy blaming for this whole mess.

Ponyboy had woken up once the whole time I had been at the hospital with him. And I had missed it. Then the next day he had been listed as critical, drifting in and out of crazed murmurings. As much as I hated to think about it, there were times when Darry and I had had our doubts…

Usually I wasn't one with a guilt complex, but this time…

I honestly couldn't take it. My mind kept reeling back to the last thing I had said to him; the last time I had seen him….

_I had walked into the house, Two-bit and Steve trailing after me. We all stopped abruptly at the scene before us. Darry had been leaning over Ponyboy; he was on the phone with Dana, one hand on our brother's wrist, checking for a pulse. _

_"Ponyboy Michael," Darry had murmured, "don't you do this. Wake up. Now."_

_Shock had overtaken me, but just as quickly as it had come it left and I had started yelling and shaking Ponyboy. _

_But he wouldn't move. And there was so much blood. _

"_Aw, shit kid!" Two-Bit choked out._

_"Darry, what the hell happened?" I had yelped, beside myself. _

_Without waiting for an ambulance, Darry scooped him up and we hauled ass to the hospital. I held Ponyboy and talked to him the entire drive - not once looking up to see the damage to the rest of Tulsa - but I didn't think Pony had heard any of it. _

_You should have known_, a small voice kept repeating inside of me. _You should have known. The weather was obvious. _

Instead of focusing on the weather, my mind had been pondering how much Steve and I could hock Darry's old baseball cards for.

That little mistake had just about cost me way more than I had ever thought possible. My hands shook and I fought the urge to chain-smoke my way through half a pack of smokes.

XXXX

Two-Bit and Steve were already in the waiting room by the time I made my way to the third floor.

Two-Bit was lounging on three of the chairs, his legs kicked up on the wall, a cigarette dangling in his mouth. "Fancy meetin' you here," he drawled in his best John Wayne. He swung his legs down and sat up as I sank into a chair next to him.

Steve grunted a hello. I was surprised he was here, but said nothing.

Steve wasn't one of my favorite people right now.

After Darry's phone call today, my mind had been so distracted I poured windshield wiper fluid where the oil was supposed to go in a Cadillac I was working on.

"I'm not going to let you get your ass fired," Steve reminded me. "Focus on your goddamned job."

Gritting my teeth, I tried to correct my mistake. "My _job_ is the least of my concerns right now."

Steve had smirked at me. "Darry ain't gonna be too happy when he hears-"

"I don't care what Darry thinks," I had snapped.

Steve had been silent for a moment. He toyed with his wrench, and then violently tightened the lug nuts on a Buick. "Yeah, well maybe you should care about what Ponyboy's gonna think when _he_ wakes up."

I had blanched, in disbelief that my best friend had played that card. "You're an asshole," I told him.

And now, as Steve was leaning against the wall, considering something. I narrowed my eyes, sensing that my friend had a whole lot more to say.

"Steve," I shut my eyes, not in the mood. "You better not say another word."

He shot me his _do I ever listen?_ look and began, "Soda, I'm not that stupid. You've been blamin' yourself over this whole mess and you gotta stop."

"Ste-eve," Two-Bit warned, his eyes darting between Steve and myself, "this is not the best place for an intervention." The cigarette lolled in his mouth as he considered something and said, "Not to mention the fact that you're a tactless, cold-hearted bastard."

Steve sneered at Two-Bit and leaned back against the wall lazily. "You didn't drag your brother outside. You didn't know it was going to happen…"

"Steve," I warned darkly, staring at my hands. I had a feeling if he flapped his mouth anymore I'd start swinging. "Shut. Up. I swear to God if you say-"

"Well, somebody needs to say it," Steve huffed. "It was just luck, Soda. Dumb, shitty luck," Steve snapped, deliberately trying to hit a nerve. "Although, that damn kid better start watching himself because it seems he's used up his share of 'get out of jail free cards'." He ran a hand through his hair, looking both ashamed of his words and thankful at the same time.

My face jerked up in angry surprise and I clenched my fists. That was cruel, even for Steve.

"Knock it off," Two-Bit cautioned, in a very un-Two-Bit like voice that caused Steve and me to remember that he was older than the both of us.

Two-Bit glanced around. "Christ, where's a hospital bar when you need one?"

Dana and Darry emerged from Pony's room, their soft footsteps padding down the hall. Dana twirled a stethoscope in her right hand, Darry looked completely frazzled.

"What's wrong?" I asked, already halfway down the hall to meet him.

Darry ran a hand down the front of his tired face and blinked, seeming to really see me. "Nothing."

Dana caught his look and put in, "Soda, your brother's been awake since last night. The fever's breaking. He'll have to stay here a few more days-just for observation."

To me that was good news, but the look on Darry's face wasn't. "Darry," I pressed, "What's _really_ wrong?"

My brother suddenly looked much younger. In fact, I couldn't remember a time when he had actually seemed young to me. Darry squinted hard and tried to find his voice. He cleared his throat gruffly as Dana gently slipped her arm around his waist.

"You know his book – Johnny's book- 'Gone with the Wind'? He told me to throw it away."

XXXX

"Sodapop," Ponyboy greeted me with a soft, half-hearted smile as I entered his room. He was reading the newspaper and tossed it aside. Shifting slightly, he winced and his face settled into bored resignation.

My heart sped up and I quickly plopped down on the edge of his bed and grasped both of his hands with my own, as if it would keep him from floating away. Leaning forward, I kissed him on the forehead and evaluated his pale face.

"Oh, kiddo," was all I could say for the moment. Then I shot him a grin. "Darry says you've been up for a while. Took you long enough."

Ponyboy coughed. "Yeah, well I wasn't in any hurry," he said bitterly.

"Don't say that," I said firmly, a part of me crumbling inside. "If anything had happened…"

Staring past me to the window, he mumbled, "Something did happen."

"What?" I asked sharply, my mind instantly wondering who I would have to hunt down and beat.

"Nothing," he muttered, pulling his hands away and playing with his sheets.

"How do you feel?" I asked, trying to tamp down something that felt like panic but worse. Despite the fact that my brother looked extremely sick, thin and fragile, there was something else that was unnerving me.

It was as if something in him was…dead…gone.

"Sore."

A second of silence passed and then Ponyboy asked in a small voice: "You wouldn't happen to have a cigarette would you? Or an aspirin?"

"Dana wouldn't give you any? Aspirin that is?" I mused, smiling slightly at the thought of my little brother actually being allowed to smoke in his state. Darry would shit himself.

He frowned. "No. Something about thinning my blood."

I raised a concerned eyebrow and pushed his hair back. "Then it's probably a good idea to listen to them."

I wanted to ask him about the book but didn't dare. Instead, guilt was rising in me and I suddenly blurted: "God, I'm sorry. I should have made you go back to the house, I should have known about the weather."

Pony seemed confused and then he blinked. "Soda," he said, somewhat shocked as he struggled to sit up straighter, "it's alright. It's not your fault."

"Maybe not," I said, miserably, words spilling out, "but God, I still should have known. First our parents…what if it had been you next? How could Darry and I have gone on-?"

I cut myself off. Ponyboy's eyes were suddenly alive. "Pone?"

He nodded. "You'd go on. You'd have to."

I shook my head furiously but my brother leaned forward eagerly. "Soda. Can I ask you something?" Worry flickered across his face but also acceptance. "And I can only ask _you_ this."

"Sure, kiddo. Anything."

"Dallas and Johnny are dead aren't they?"

"Pone," I faltered. "You know they are."

_Please, agree with me. Please_, _God_, I prayed silently, clenching my jaw.

"Yeah," he agreed, dropping back into the pillows. "I know. I just had to be sure of something."

It was either now or never. "Pone," I ventured, "why'd you have Darry throw the book away?" I held my breath, a little afraid of the answer.

He seemed baffled by this and then just shrugged. "I don't need it anymore. I'll remember it when I need to."

And then Ponyboy shot me his grin and I knew with relief that he'd be ok. It might take a while…but he'd get through it.

I'd make sure of that.

"Man, Soda," Pony said with a yawn, "I know I was on a lot of drugs. But what I saw was…freaky."

I never had time to ask him what he meant because he was already drifting off.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to know myself.

XXXX

Meh. I'm just not feeling this chapter. I wanted to get Soda's POV in here….but I think it crashes and burns quite successfully. I hope it's not too melancholy…

I'll let you be the judge.

Only one chapter to go…look for it tomorrow!


	20. Chapter 20

Ok-last chapter. And this was sad and hard to write because I won't write another story in this 'series'. The boys have gotten as old as I want to take them. So this may be a bit long because I wanted to give a good send off for each character.

Everyone-thanks SO much for reading…I write for all of you so I'm glad you enjoyed!

Alleycat-thanks for all your opinions and insight…you inspire me dah-ling!

Also…I probably won't write another story for a while or even forever…unless anyone has any good ideas or "what if" stories they want to suggest.

Please leave reviews-after all it's my last chapter! **Sniff**

XXXX

Oh I do believe

You're all what you perceive

What comes is better that what came before

Oh I do believe

You're all what you perceive

What comes is better that what came before

-The Velvet Underground

XXXX

Ponyboy's POV

Bright sunlight filtered through the room, despite the closed curtains. I shifted and continued to watch the poker operation currently happening in my hospital room.

I was going home today. Or at least hoped to. I still had to get the Doctor Copeland's permission.

In the corner of the room, Steve and Sodapop sat huddled intently over the small table. Two-Bit sat on the radiator, trimming his nails with his switchblade and watching the game with a kind of lazy indifference.

Steve, his dark hair sticking up in greasy spikes, examined his hand. "I got a straight," he whispered proudly, laying the cards in front of him.

"Full house," Soda retorted, displaying his hand with relish.

"Sonofabitch," Steve swore under his breath.

I grinned at my brother. "Soda, you're still a lousy cheat."

"Hey," he said with mock-injury, "I know it and you know it. But _they_ don't gotta know it." He shot me a corny grin and then turned back to a grumbling Steve.

I had had a few days to get over the _I'llNeverSeeJohnnyandDallyAgain_ remorse. Seeing what Soda's guilt had done to him snapped me out of it real quick. It was probably one of the worst things I had ever experienced.

In the end, I knew it was time to say goodbye. I had held on too long. It hurt but…it had to happen eventually.

"Kid." Two-Bit said in a low voice. "Guess who came your house the other day."

"Who?" I asked suspiciously as he plunked himself on top of the bed where I was laying.

"That broad…Karen Nichols came by your house."

"Again?" I hissed, causing Soda to eye me from the corner of his eye. I almost wanted to cry and laugh; my brothers were never going to let me out of their sight again.

"Yeah, but no sweat kid, she just came by to see if you were ok."

I cocked my head. "Really?"

"Of course, I laid the guilt trip on her." Two-Bit caught my look and chuckled. "Don't worry. She still likes you, no matter what she's pissed about. She's not going to say anything."

Feeling as if 20 pounds had disappeared from my shoulders, I exhaled slowly. "That's real good-"

The door opened and Darry and Shakes entered.

"Look what the cat dragged in," Steve drawled and Shakes promptly flipped him off as Darry surreptitiously checked out Soda's hand.

"No, no. No problem," Two-Bit volunteered to Darry. "You're not interrupting anything important. We were just talking about where we're going to go party after the kid busts out of here."

Darry scowled mildly at Two-Bit but I knew that if Two-Bit had been serious he'd have been all over him. Shoot, Darry and Soda were already talking about having me take an extra semester off of school.

"Relax for a few months," Darry had suggested, "get back on your feet." It was quite a shock, seeing as how Darry _didn't_ want me to focus on school for once.

I couldn't blame them, they were just afraid. I was too.

But you never got anywhere by staying put.

"How're you feeling Pone?" Darry asked me for the fifth time today. Ever since I had been getting better his face had been a mixture of frantic amazement and intense relief.

I put on a cheesy smile and swung my legs off the bed. "Right as rain, Dar. Never felt better." The smile fell off my face and I held out my palm. "Now can I puh-leeese have a cigarette?"

Darry chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Nope. Sorry. Not for a while Pony."

I bit my lip while Steve and Soda laughed. "Don't worry," Shakes smirked at me, "I'll smuggle you some."

"Shakes, I better not catch you…" Darry trailed off as Dana and Dr. Copeland joined us. Dana smiled at me slightly.

Copeland, ignoring everyone, strode over to me, listened to my chest, my stomach and consulted his clipboard. Thank God for Dana, because if it weren't for her, I would have been treated like a piece of meat. Darry watched us with his arms crossed.

Copeland clicked his pen and scribbled something down on his notes. "Well, sonny-boy," he told my doubtful face, "looks like you're A-ok to go home. Don't over exert yourself -your stomach is still tender. You don't want to rupture the stitches. No shenanigans you hear?"

"Yes sir," I said with a straight face.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Two-Bit mouth to Steve: _Who talks this way?_

Copeland caught Soda and Shakes in a choked laugh and frowned. "You know, may I remind you there is only a 2-visitor limit. It's not a zoo. Keep that in mind for the next time you're here." Doctor Copeland's eyes settled on me knowingly as he turned on his heel and left the room.

Darry and Soda looked ready to explode.

All I could do was laugh. "You're right Dana. He _is_ a prick."

Dana gasped almost inaudibly and Steve jerked his head up so fast I thought he must have gotten whiplash.

Two-Bit stared at me with apprehension, gray eyes wide. "Holy shit," he whispered.

Only Darry, Soda and Shakes seemed out of the loop.

Suddenly, I paled, remembering that Dana had said this when I was supposedly 'unconscious'.

Dana came over to me. "Ponyboy…how did you-?" Darry stared at us in confusion.

"Kid?" Steve asked me in the same understanding, conspiratorial tone he had used at Fulsom Lake.

Panicked, I shot him a look: _get me out of this_.

Steve sighed gruffly and did what he did best. He was a shit.

"You may as well take him up on the offer now, kid," Steve swaggered, lounging back in his chair, "I hear there's a bus outside," he winced slightly before he said, "go make yourself useful."

That _sure_ got everybody's mind off of my little, incriminating comment and onto Steve's. Even I was shocked by the harshness, but impressed by his quick comeback.

_He must have those stored up in that greasy head of his_, I thought.

"Really Steve!" Dana snapped, affecting motherly concern. Two-Bit whistled, leaving the topic behind, but he was still regarding me with an odd curiosity.

Scowling at him, I sank back into the bed; leave it to Two-Bit to be the one to catch on.

I did my best to look hurt. "Thanks, Steve," I muttered.

Soda tossed his cards on the table with force and shot Steve a furious glance. "I'm done." Darry seemed like he wanted to pummel Soda's best friend, but said nothing and settled for turning an angry shade of red.

Steve threw me a small sneer: Y_ou owe me, kid. Big time._

I always knew I liked Steve Randall for a reason. Who'd have ever thought his big mouth would come in handy?

XXXX

"I'm not going to tell Darry," Two-Bit volunteered, catching me smoking outside on our porch a few days later.

"You're a pal," I said, taking a long drag.

Two-Bit leaned beside me, a beer in his hand. "So. When you were off in la-la land you really heard what Dana said?"

I bit the inside of my cheek, unsure if I really wanted to be called crazy by Two-Bit Mathews. "Yeah, I did," I said quietly.

"Interesting. Interesting," Two-Bit mused. "It's weird, I'll give you that Pone. But what can I say? Odd stuff, odd shit happens. Sometimes there's just no explanation."

"Yeah. You got a job didn't you?" I shot him a lopsided grin, feeling intense relief as I realized he wasn't going to press the matter. In his own way he understood. "Never thought I'd see the day."

"I'm glad you did though," Two-Bit commented seriously, before pointing down the street.

Darry's truck rounded the corner and I jumped, tossing my cigarette into the bushes.

"Crap. He's home early. Holy shit, I smell like smoke. Darry's gonna skin me," I moaned with panic.

Two-Bit raised his eyebrows and shook up a closed beer.

My eyes widened and I took a step backwards. "Hey wait-"

Two-Bit popped the tab and sprayed me with the can. White foam engulfed my face. "There. Now you smell like alcohol."

"I hate you," I muttered as beer dripped down my soaked clothes, onto the porch.

"You're a good kid," Two-Bit told me as he laughed and laughed.

XXXX

"Darry! I gotta leave in 10 minutes!" I hollered down the hall.

Soda came scrambling out of the bathroom, barefooted, his hair sticking up. "Where did I put my wallet? Sonofa-"

"It's on the counter," I told him, smiling.

He snatched it up and stuck it in his back pocket. "You nervous?"

I rocked on my heels. "No. I don't think so."

"Good." Soda plunked down on the couch and began tying his shoes. He stopped abruptly and looked up, his brown eyes happy. "You haven't had a nightmare lately have you?"

"Nope." I tried to shrug causally and opened my arms wide. "It's like the tornado just knocked them out of me."

"Ponyboy!" Soda moaned and rolled his eyes. "Sometimes you're getting as bad as Steve." He pulled his left shoe on quickly and jumped up. "I gotta go. Have a good day." He hugged me fiercely and was out the door. "See you tonight," he called out over Steve's honks.

"Did you have breakfast?" Darry asked, coming out of the kitchen, coffee cup in hand.

"Yeah, cereal." I began stuffing books into my backpack. He watched me for a few moments and I stopped abruptly.

"Darry, will you quit pacin'? You're making me nervous."

"Sorry. So uh," Darry asked, "do you need money or anything?" He rubbed the dark stubble on his face that he started growing out because Dana 'liked beards'. I wasn't sure how I felt about it yet…but it was amusing to see Darry get bossed around by a girl.

"No Dar. I'm all set." I eyed my oldest brother curiously. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." And then he gave the act up, taking a quick sip of coffee. "I'm not used to this."

I didn't have to ask what he meant; I already knew. Our lives had now taken a different turn. Darry wasn't responsible for Soda and me anymore. He had gotten us through the hard years.

We were all responsible for ourselves. Now Darry was responsible for getting a life, making things right with Dana, maybe even going to college.

And I had to get _myself_ through college on my own.

Darry would still be there, trying to boss me around and I'd still be yelling back - old habits are hard to break - but in the end, the rest of my life was up to me.

I shouldered my bag. "Neither am I. But it can't be bad right?"

His eyes met mine and he smiled. "No. It won't be."

I heard the unsaid: _not if we're all together_.

The moment was broken by Shakes vigorously pumping his horn and yelling from outside, "Yo Ponyboy Curtis! Get your ass out here!"

Shaking his head, Darry said, "That boy was raised by wolves."

"C'mon. He ain't so bad."

Darry ran a hand through his hair and stared outside with amusement. "No. He ain't. But don't tell him I said that, you hear?"

"See you tonight, Darry?" I asked, heading for the door.

"You bet. Soda's cooking tonight."

"Oh brother," I muttered, my mind whirling around the possible dinner choices.

"Hey Ponyboy," Darry called out before I could leave. "Tell Caplan hello for me."

Grinning at him, I slung my backpack over my shoulder. "I will Darry. Thanks."

XXXX

"What's your first class?" Shakes scrutinized his schedule.

I checked mine. "Math."

Shakes frowned and looked horrified. "Mine's English."

"Shoot, that's easy," I said cockily.

"Don't rub it in, man. Just because you got the brains and I got the looks." Shakes waggled his eyebrows.

I laughed. "I'll see you in biology at two. And Shakes," I told him as he smiled mischievously, "leave the Black Cats in your car."

"Pone, you know me too well." And with that he was off, strolling down the quad.

Something yellow floated by me and before I realized it was a Frisbee, I was pushed to the ground by its chaser. "Hey!" I exclaimed with surprise as my butt hit the pavement.

"Sorry kid," the voice began and then said, "Ponyboy Curtis?" Randy Adderson was staring down at me. Suddenly, he stuck his hands out, helping me up. "C'mon."

"What're you doing here?" he asked, twirling the Frisbee around a finger.

"First year," I said equally surprised at seeing him.

"Wow. Time flies. I can't believe you're in college."

"Yeah," I muttered, "neither can I. How've you been?"

Randy nodded. "Good. Good."

Some of Randy's friends shouted, "Adderson! There's still a game going on."

"Sorry about that," Randy said, gesturing to the spot where I had fallen. He smiled at me. "I gotta go. But I'll look you up. We'll have lunch."

I stood there, watching him return the Frisbee, dumbfounded that in another life he had once been a Soc who had disliked Greasers.

What a small, weird world.

XXXX

"Well, well. What do we have here? A straggler?"

I slid into the nearest seat available and blushed. "No, sir. I apologize." Students craned their necks to gawk at me.

"Son, I suggest you make it a point to be on time to my class."

"Yes, sir. It won't happen again."

"Make sure it doesn't." The professor walked the length of the room and then back again before saying, "Tell me son, if the Allied Forces had been late landing on Omaha Beach, do you know what might have happened?

Biting my lip, I tried to keep in a laugh. "Well, sir, we'd all be speaking German and sporting Swastikas right now."

Brief silence descended upon the classroom as the professor stared at me with concentrated satisfaction.

"Very good, Curtis," Caplan said curtly, a smile on his face as he turned back to the chalkboard. "Now the goal of this class is to get a sense of what war is and how it has changed…"

I pulled out my book and set it on the desk in front of me as Caplan continued speaking.

It was as if I had finally woken up from a long nightmare and although I could remember the nightmare, I was no longer haunted by it.

Life always went on.

XXXX

Thanks for reading ya'll! Hopefully this didn't drag on too long!

Leave me reviews pretty please!!


End file.
